Sunday, August 9, 2015

I am not Motivated

Good day Madam, I'm 33 and I met a lady who is 22. I actually met her through a friend who asked me to assist her with her thesis. 
After which I started liking her. She told me I'm advance and she was scared. I supported her with everything she needed. She left for NYSC and she hardly talked to me claiming it's network. 
This was my own fair, I am the second child of a family of six children and after the demise of our father when I was 16,  my Mum who was a trader labored so much to ensure we all did well. My eldest brother and younger ones except I and one other that do not give her problems. 
I work and don't even have plans for marriage now. 
My worries are: 
... I don't feel proud to introduce my family except my Mum and the one working and I don't have the confidence to take any lady to see my Mum's house. I tried to tell my mum she needed to focus on herself and use the money I sent to her to help herself but she has many fingers to feed. 
Back to the matter on this girl, she said she likes fine boys and not that I'm not fine as you can see I'm not looking badly. 
She has redeployed to my state where I work and have stayed in my house for couple of days. 
I know I will not touch her, in fact it is not possible for me. 
She listen to what her friends say at times that she is going out with an uncle which I even vowed not to enter her room except park outside and she came to meet me. 
People try introducing "good ladies" to me on bbm and FB but after chatting for a while these ladies take it serious that they need a serious relationship. This is my background, I was only bookworm in school and a fellowship guy, also I was popular among my friends for being jovial and here I am not even understanding myself. 
Now I'm feeling demotivated. Please help me share this...

Dear sender, 
Beautiful, I sincerely appreciate your honesty and simplicity. Let me first start by saying that you are really handsome. 
Trust me, you are truly handsome and you don't need to listen to those who want fine boys with swags. 
Mature minds go for handsome men with great vision. 
Let's start with your home. Every one has a home and every occupant in the city has a village where they came from. 
It's our heritage, it's our identity, it's our background and there's nothing to be ashamed of. 
Whether you live in the city and I live in the village, we all make use of the same shelter. 
In fact if the lady you love doesn't appreciate your background and family, it's a huge turn off when considering such a lady for marriage. 
Handsome, you're 33 and already a man. 
No need to feel weak and withdrawn, you need to take things up and do the needful. 
You need to open up and be a man. 
You need to plan about your home and marriage so as to help you invest in what will give you happiness and fulfilment in love and life. 
Let's return to your girl, I'm certain that she loves you, you only need to fine tune your relationship by letting her know how you feel about her tendencies to listen to others and compare you with anyone else. 
If she isn't comfortable with you, please tell her that I said she shouldn't be wasting your time and giving you false impression. 
That's not what relationship is all about. 
Eleven years is too little to call you an uncle. 
Please organise yourself handsome,you did well in the past and you can do even better today. 
Now you need a companion to help you get focused without having conflicting thoughts every now and then. 
You cannot find fulfilment when you are afraid of committing yourself in a relationship. 
If you feel it, please say it and let others know how you feel. 
I know that you desire to reposition your family but please begin by repositioning your life so that you can be a blessing to your children, wife and your mum. 
Do not be worried handsome, you shall celebrate God's faithfulness in your life someday. 
All the best dear. 


  1. I started dating my hubby while I was in school. he is not from a rich family. I visited his house in the village and it was a small house but it still didn't deter me from him because I saw a man with vision. things are only getting better for us. I pray seriously for him everyday because he is a good man and deserves the best. A girl who loves you will accept your family background and encourage you to do better. I wish you the best of luck.

  2. Oh Dear Lord!
    Aunty Amara you for just begin introduce us to these guys. No be lie o.
    On a serious note, I sincerely hope the advice Amara has given works out fine. Cheers


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