Saturday, August 8, 2015

I Saw Condoms in His Pocket.

Good morning Aunty Amara may God bless you for all your good deeds. 
Please I need your advice and that of your fans. 
Since I married my husband I suspected he was cheating on me but anytime I say anything about it he denied it and said I should stop going to his phone, he even went and bought another phone he used to chat which he used password on. 
In April, I saw two condoms in his jean pocket when I wanted to collect money for my transport fare but when he remembered he had somthing in his pocket he asked me to give him the jeans so that he can give me without me seeing what he had there not knwing that I have seen it already. 
I never said anything cause it was early morning and I was going for my exams so I didn’t want anything that would worsen my mood so I left. 
I raised the issue after a week when I was through with my exams and in a better mood, he denied saying that I raised the topic too late that am supposed to ask him immediately. 
So I told him that if he would not say anything now let him hold it to himself. After sometimes I started noticing serious itching after having sex with him.  
I complained to him and he said that I should go see a doctor maybe I got it from the toilet but I insisted that we must go together but he refused saying that nothing was wrong with him. 
I later went alone got treated but it still occurred again and again. Now I saw another condom yesterday in his jean hidden pocket while i was washing them, they were three so i took one as an evidence against him in case if he denied again and kept the remaing two for him on the table so that he will see it. 
When he came back yesterday he saw it and said nothing and I didn't feel like discusing it cause it may not yield any fruit. 
He was acting cool as though nothing happened and am playing along with him but its getting diffcult for me.
I feel like crying but it can't solve anything and I dont want want to tell anybody both my in laws and my family cause I don't want any third party in my marriage. 
I have decided that I will never have sex with him again even if he goes for treatment cause he will still go and get it again until he's done playing around. 
Please is my decision good or would it back fire at me. NOTE we have been married for five years and blessed with a boy and a girl.

Dear sender, 
Because sexual intimacy is very sensitive to marriage, there are some things that you cannot withhold or pretend about in your marriage. 
You cannot condone infidelity or pretend that you didn't see his condom only to expose yourself to infections and diseases that may take your life and expose your children to untold hardship. 
Please do well to discuss this with your husband and if he feels that he cannot quit cheating on you and doesn't want to get himself treated, then you would have to insist on condom during every sexual intimacy with him. 
You need to protect your body and your health. 
Do not deny him sex as,he would still use that as an excuse against you. 
But do not continue feeling pity and helpless. 
Infidelity exposes the life of many innocent women to sexually transmitted diseases and infections and some are terminal infections. 
While sexual intimacy cannot be separated from marriage, sexual fidelity cannot be compromised on else the walls of marriage will be destroyed and the partners exposed to horrible infections. 
That is unacceptable for any reasons whatsoever. 
Please make it clear what you can accommodate and what you cannot joke with. 
Your health and your happiness is your sole responsibility and your children need you alive and not living with infections. 
I feel your pains and I pray that God will intervene in your marriage. 
All the best dear. 

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