Thursday, August 27, 2015

I Want A Child Out of Wedlock.

Good day, Amara. 
I think it's high time I write you to seek ur advice. 
Please do get back to me. 
I married at the age of 29, twelve (12) years ago. 
Up till now, my wife(37 years old now) have not taken in. 
We have gone to many fertility hospitals and have met experts on reproductive medicine yet nothing to write home about. 
I love my wife but I am in dire need of a child (male or female), somebody who will take care of me in old age.
Please, is it OK if I seek a child out of wedlock? 
Do you think this might cause a problem in our marriage in future?
Thank you very much as I await it response.

When I received your mail, I sensed that you have struggled with this for a very long time and you have sacrificed a lot but it seemed as though they were all in futility. 
I may not have the right words to encourage your heart in this critical moment of your life in your marriage and I perfectly understand why you want to explore any means to get a child. 
Though you didn't give me the details of the medical analysis of your reproductive system and that of your wife but I know that conception is a product of a fertile sperm and a healthy egg. 
I want to believe that you and your wife visited a medical Doctor who have checked your sperm count and also the state of the Womb of your wife and the doctor certified you and your wife healthy to conceive a baby. 
If my perception be true, then I would suggest that you don't seek for a baby outside your marriage. 
I don't know how often you make love to your wife and the challenges you experience when making love to her. 
The problems that come with getting a child from another woman most times outlive the man who desired the baby. 
There's always struggles, Striving, fighting and sometimes wasting of the blood that ought to protect each other. 
There's rivalry between the wife and the new lady depending on how got the baby. 
And in the end the man never experiences fulfilling old age as a result such decision. 
Instead of seeking for a baby outside, I would suggest that you try in vitro fertilization if you have the resources to do so depending on the state of your sperm or discuss the option of adoption with your wife. 
If possible which I believe depends on you, do not consider sleeping around as an option, it may work out but you may not be able to pay the prize when you have the baby. 
Please do not patronise local herbs and drugs especially when you haven't examined your body and that of your wife to know what may possibly be the challenge or limitations. 
Now is the best time for you and your wife to hold hands together and call upon the throne of grace and seek help from him. 
Now is the time to be more careful with any decision you may take because the consequences or the cost may far outweigh the benefits therein. 
I would love to hear more from you soon to enable me understand your challenge and suggest what you may need to consider.
He's still the same God and He has the capacity and Authority to favour you with children. 
He's faithful and the Fruit of the Womb is His reward for your family. 
I am believing God on your behalf that your wife shall conceive and bring forth babies in your home in Jesus Name Amen. 


  1. You cannot get God's results by doing things your way...... Listen. ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

  2. I am a Christain and a woman, fortunately, I have children already but if i or my husband were not able to concieve, I would have suggested to him to try other options. 12 years is not 5 years. I know they must have prayed and prayed, sometimes we have to be realistic in life.
    Adoption is one of them, Invitro is an option but not everyone can afford it, it costs a lot of money. If i am the man, i would try to impregnant a lady outside, not because i dont love nor respect my wife, as a human being, you want to pro-create and have someone answer your name. You will also be curious to know if the problem is from you or your wife, not that it mattered.
    Some women have taken off their womb out of carelessness and they will lead you on. I also knew a case of a woman that had a child after 18 years of waiting, God work wonders don't get me wrong it's just upto the couple to decide on what they want. I will really want to have a child if I and my husband is unable to have one.


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