Monday, August 31, 2015

I Want To Stay Married and Happy.

Hello Aunty Amara kudos to all the wonderful things God is using to do..May God bless your home greatly! 
As I type, happiness have eluded me because of what my husband did to me. 
My husband was once upon a time a cheat but his love for me made him to choose me over other women.
We got married through thin and thick but I stood by him and it wasn't too long,blessings rolled in..
He had always promise to surprise me for my patience and that he did with a beautiful car but my joy was short lived after I found out that he was cheating..
I read a dirty phone conversation and was torn apart,he had to invite his mum to come plead on his behalf and his reason was that I once accused him innocently..
Days have turn into months yet I can't seem to forget all that have happened especially now that our sex life is more of a drag,if I don't make a move he won't even blink although he give me anytime I want it..
He once told me that he hate stretch marks,I also do but after having our beautiful daughter I just couldn't help it.
I don't know if the presence of stretch marks is the cause of his behavior..
I feel totally unattractive yet am very beautiful,tried all kinds of cream but I guess am stocked..
To make the whole matter worse I think he is gradually going back to his bad habit,the last argument we had was a dialled number and in order to cover up his act,he said to me "go and die" and because of this careless comment have been avoiding me for days now..
He really do love me and cares for me a lot but this dirty part him keeps me doubting even when I know he do. 
I want to stay married and be happy because I have got a home envied by many,my marriage is like a landmark to a lots of my friend yet am dying in silence..
What do I do?I just want to have my best friend back,please help me. 

Infidelity no matter the excuses one may give or the gifts one may offer or the cares and love he may share with is cancerous to any relationship or marriage. 
It weakens the soul and makes one look like a worthless being. 
It hurts, hurts and hurts even with the good intentions of the partner, Infidelity can never make any marriage to be fulfilling. 
Unto God such a person is sharing what belongs to you with another person and for whatsoever reasons such a person is exposing the other partner to many sexually transmitted infections which will never leave the other partner the same way that he/she came. 
Combating with Infidelity requires huge sacrifices, so much prayers, good communication and patience. 
No matter the excuses he may have for cheating on you, he has only succeeded in reducing your self dignity and self worth and that was the reasons for the way you felt about him and the relationship. 
Begin with communicating your feelings and pains with him. Let him know your secret pains and grave concerns, plead with him to help you improve your love making skills or any other thing that may be a turn off for him. 
Listen to him and find out more about his fantasies about sex and love making. 
Take your time and work on the areas that needs improvement in your body, be clean and sexy and give priority to meeting the needs of your husband. 
Go for shopping and buy wears that will increase his appetite for your body, please do not forget to add good deodorants for your body. 
Go for workouts and shed some pounds of weight off your body. 
For men good sex begins with appealing body. 
Prepare his favourite meals and take your time to celebrate your husband irrespective of his careless comments and attitudes lately. 
Forgive him not because you are not hurting but because he needs your help to overcome his weakness for strange women. 
Please do not give room for poor communication in your marriage, it breeds a lot of dangers and doubts in your marriage. 
If it is possible which depends on you, leave his phone and whatever happens inside his phone as part his business and focus more on the man God has blessed you with. 
Allowing his chats and conversations to ruin your marriage wouldn't be commendable for a woman of virtue. 
I know that it hurts but you can choose not to let his phone bring a barrier in your marriage,it's a distraction too insignificant to destroy your efforts and selfless sacrifices in your marriage. 
Encourage yourself with God's word and read motivational articles and write ups, it will help take the pressure and worries of your marriage off your mind. 
Every man who cheats on his wife is fighting a hard battle which most times they yearn for help using wrong approach. 
Please do not relent in praying for him and in supporting him in any way convenient for you. 
With God by your side and by His grace and wisdom, I am hopeful that you shall overcome this phase of your marriage and win your best friend back in your arms. 

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