Should I Bring Out the Worst Side of Me?

Good morning ma. Remain blessed for the good work you are doing ma. My story is lengthy but please help. 
I was living in a family house with my parents in laws and sisters, brothers and cousins of my hubby. 
So in all we were16 in a flat of four rooms and parlour built by my huuby. So each time we planned to get an apartment for them something will happen that will waste the money. 
Dispute came between my hubby and his mum cos she was happy everbody was together and wanted to always monitor everything and subject everybody to eat only Egwusi soup from January to December cos that was the only soup she takes. 
The situation of the house made me to lose two children in a peroid of three months and from that day, I ran out of my house and hubby ran out too. 
We got a a two bedroom flat and started life again. When I was in pains, my hubby's brother that is a pastor was working very close to where I and my hubby ran to but never visited us or cared to know how we were faring and within that space of my pains got married and never allowed his wife to see or even call me saying am the one that was supposed to come and see his wife that he is my hubby's senior. 
Now the table has turned, that my brother in law lost his wife for five months now and has being staying in my place since then. 
My people,  he has never for one day brought money for food or anything and they pay him more than my huuby in office. 
It has gotten out of hand to the extent that he will use our perfume until it was finished and wait for my hubby to buy. 
He enters our room anyhow even early in the morning in search of anything he wants to use not minding if am lying covered or not, opens the ward rope up and down. 
I want to bring out my ugly side cos I have had enough and am here to ask how to go about it. 
If he comes back and you tell him that there is no food that we are waiting for hubby, he will join and wait or he will ask of indomie which he knew was for children and after eating he will start preaching from Genesis to Revelations to me about prayers and servings God and will never ask if we eat or not and the next day he will go out without asking if my hubby have money or not. 
He has a car but if he want to go out he will carry my car and use the AC but when going out with his own he will not, even if its raining.
Am so sorry for the long write up.

While his attitude may be horrible and simply painful, I would encourage you not to bring out the ugly side of yourself nor should you rejoice in the death of his wife. 
He still feels that he has control over the life of your brother which was why he doesn't see the need to contribute or even appreciate the assistance your husband provides for him. 
This may explain the reasons behind his selfishness and nonchalant attitude towards your privacy and that of your husband. 
Always remember that whenever you are dealing with your in laws as a lady, it would be very wise and discerning for you to hide under the shield and safety of your husband. 
Not because you cannot fight against his attitude nor challenge his decision to do things as he please but because you need the protection and safety of your husband to effectively win such a battle. 
Please make out time to discuss this with your husband. Find out how he feels about his elder brother's attitude and what he feels should be the best approach to adopt. 
Let him know that you are literally naked and full of shame,that you have no control over your home nor can you plan adequately as his wife because of the manner his brother has constantly pushed you to the wall. 
Find out what his brother truly need and how best you can support him to enable him find his feet and be in his own apartment. 
It's a sacrifice you and your husband may shoulder so as to regain your freedom and enjoy your marriage. 
Third party always has a negative impact on a marriage no matter who the person maybe. 
You may feel that your brother in law has enough money to take care of his responsibilities as a result of how much he earns every month but a man's salary most times doesn't determine his wealth and capabilities as a man. 
Pray for him and do well to serve him well while he's with you, supporting him now is your greatest asset to encourage him in this difficult times and circumstances of his life. 
See this as a divine privilege for you to support, pray and help him emotionally and psychologically. 
Do not push him out or do something that may look nasty, leave that for your husband to manage with wisdom and patience. 
No matter how long he may stay with you, there would definitely be a time when he will have to leave you alone and focus on his own life and vision. 

Please do well to drop your thoughts on the blog post, thank you.