Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Should I Demand for an Apology?

Good morning ma,I have had this in mind in a while but dunno if its wrong because I wanted to take an action and I needed an advice. Actually before I met my husband I was dating some one at the time. I did like him we got intimate and all.
We started as friends no strings attached then he told me he and his girlfriend broke up then again he said he had nothing else to do with her. After we started dating, some calls came to his phone at odd hours and most times he goes out to answer.
I asked,  he told me it was his ex but they were just friends ,this continued for a while.
I asked his close friends,  he told me the truth that they were back together.
I still asked and he denied claiming that he couldn't say no to her though she broke up with him and now she wanted to get back with him.
I got her contact and called her to confirm the truth and she said yes
I was rather confused ,she even added me on facebook,he still insisted it was nothing.
I even told him that if I was his girlfriend and she was just a friend to him why not let us meet so he could kinda introduce me to the Lady... He said no and he has his reasons for that.
I said OK and kept quiet about the issue. One evening I got back from a job I stopped at his house to say hello and go back to my house next he said he was going to his friend's place that night to return the next day and knowing his always hectic and busy schedule it was unlike him but I said OK and went home.
I wasn't really convinced then I called his friend but he tried to cover for him cos he wasn't sure what was going on.
I went back to his house after I had my bath cos I couldn't sleep,  that was after ten at night, I saw them holding hands going to his flat and then I told him to come outside or I come in.
He came outside and I asked, you didn't go to your friend's house again,  then he said something came up and started asking what was my problem and I said nothing and walked out on him.
Till today as I write he never apologized and I felt betrayed cos he did hurt me,  even when I saw him I felt that resentment towards him and his girlfriend but I smile and say help but yet I'm hurting.
Is it right if I demand for an apology now since its more than a year. Thank you ma.

Dear sender, 
I know that you are still feeling hurt and pained from the way you wrote your mail. 
It's obvious that he was cheating on you but raising such an issue that happened a year ago is an indication that you haven't forgiven him and is yet to forget about it. 
If he repeated the same attitude now or sometimes this year, perhaps asking for an apology would be a good idea but not for what happened over a year ago. 
Please do forgive him and remember his shortcomings no more,not because it's not a painful experience but because you cannot wash your clothes and keep the dirt in your body. 
You wash it off and rinse the clothes so that you can wear them again. 
Please do not let what happened in the past ruin your marriage with him. 
Be encouraged by God's word to love him unconditionally and selflessly irrespective of what you may have experienced in the past. 
Without forgiveness, marriage cannot survive the turbulence and challenges that partners face on a daily basis. 
All the best dear. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)