Hi,Good evening Aunty Amara, please I need you to post this for me and as well advice me on how to handle this situation that is about to make me go crazy.
Am Val by name, 28 years of age, a graduate of building technology though not financially stable, I have two girls in my life both of them same age, one a graduate but awaiting for service while the other is in her 300L, I have been dating the one in 300L since 2008 but got separated five years later.
Then I met the one that has graduated two years later, so things started going well between both of us, but there was something about her, she always threatened to leave me anytime we had issues.
So I capitalized on that, that she doesn't love me, and am the type that is emotionally attached to someone I love so much!
So something happened earlier this year, I made a decision to either go back to my ex or stay single till am ready for marriage.
I didn't know that she(My Ex) made the same decision too, so one Sunday afternoon, she visited me and we agreed to get back together, due to what we shared during the five years before we got separated, I decided then to let the graduate go but still kept in touch with her, so I moved on with my ex.
But as time went on, I started noticing strange attitude in her, she hardly call or care about me, she became too materialistic, too rude that she could leave me to go and see another guy, and she doesn't say sorry anytime she offended me, so with that I started regretting my decision and why I left the other girl, so I decided to avoid her.
Meanwhile during this period, the other girl was begging for another chance to make things right, though her own case was different, she cared about me more and always want to stay around me all the time..
My worries now is that I have accepted her back but my ex which is the one in her 300l is threatening to kill herself if I should leave her again, please advice me on what to do...
thank You and God bless
Dear sender,
I am as confused as you are and I'm more worried about you than I am for the girls.
Please what kind of a lady do you really need in life?
Why do you feel comfortable with playing with a lady's emotions than you should have been with playing football?
Why would you keep a lady for eight years and expect her not to lose her mind at your non sensitive attitude to ladies.
What are you really willing and ready to let go for the benefit of your relationship?
I feel that you need to reevaluate your needs and intentions before deciding on who to commit yourself to.
No two ladies are the same and no two ladies will influence your life in the same way.
Please do talk to your heart and learn to commit to one lady at a time.
Stop hanging you hands of friendship to one lady while your heart is with another.
If you are not comfortable with the attitude of one lady, communicate your feelings to her and help her improve on her flaws and if you are not convinced that she's what you need, then do let her go and focus on another lady.
Learn more to be patient and considerate and also do your best to be as selfless as possible so that you can strengthen your relationship and not to gamble with ladies.
I wouldn't tell you what to do but all I could say is please do not date anyone out of pity or give any lady hope of returning while with another.
Go for a lady who compliments and completes you in so many areas of your weaknesses.
Go for a lady who appreciates you and respects you as a man.
Go for a lady who will stand by you even when there maybe challenges or difficult times.
Go for what you are convinced of in life.
Do not forget to commit every of your decision to God and strive to make sure you do not run faster than your shadows to avoid running into a ditch.
All the best.
Sir you need to ask yourself where you're heading with those ladies. It's a decision you have to make whether you wish to end up with one or if you're with them just for friendship sake. You might wish to let them be and concentrate on restructuring your plans for the future. God bless.
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