Saturday, September 5, 2015

How Do I Reach Out to Her?

Good day ma! Please I need your advice on this. 
My husband is the sixth child and the only son out of eight. This young man has been his family, you are on your own. Their parents can't sacrifice anything for them struggling day and night to make it in life but. 
The problem he always have with his family is that they don't regard him as the man of the house(first and only son). 
Of recent the father called him to seek
his opinion about something. After the discussion he had with the father, they agreed on doing what they arrived at. The following morning my husband called the dad to know how far with the arrangement and what they agreed on, to his greatest surprise the dad told him that he called one of his daughters so they had a change of plans. 
My husband was not happy and he is hot tempered. He doesn't like people infringing on his right. 
Out  of anger he raised voice at his dad and his elder sister which happens to be my favourite sis in law and confidant called me and said that she is reporting this to me cos of the respect she has for me. 
She told me that my husband insulted their father, that when next he will try such, that she will not only come to his office alone to create a scene as she has done before but that she will come with the police and arrest his bro..which is my husband. 
My confidant opened her mouth to tell me that his own brother don't value them, that he value my own family more than theirs.... 
That he looked at the two younger sisters as people who were not responsible and my sisters happened to be the saint. 
She went further to tell me that my husband, her brother took my people to the village last Christmas which he has never done that to the parents in fact the outcome of the meeting they had that they have decided to give his brother to my family for dash.....but will should not called them if any thing should happen. 
Despite all her vomit, I still pleaded for all the allegations levelled against my husband. 
But I least expected all the rubbish against my family. 
I love her so much so I let go of all the blablabla she said against my family. But the major problem now is that my husband warned me not to call nor visit her. 
What do I do? Am that kind of person that can sacrifice anything for peace to reign.

You are married first to your husband and next to his family. 
It took your husband to know about his sister and as such you owe your husband a great respect and support when the whole world is against him. 
And one of the most important duty that you owe your husband is to support him and encourage him when he's being attacked by his relatives or friends. 
He needs your assurance that you are part of his vision and not part of those who make public ridicule of his personality. 
For his own sister to make such comments and views of your own husband and even ridicule your family in the process should awaken the wisdom to minimise the way you communicate with her and the way you share some sensitive information with her. 
You are not her enemy because you no longer talk with her but you need to stand in for your husband and be his shelter when the world stands against him. 
I would encourage you to adhere strictly to what your husband said and please do that with understanding and wisdom that your husband cannot be ridiculed in his own authority. 
While his father has every right and freedom to choose who to listen to and what to do, his own siblings owe him some form of respect for his personality and not insults and abuse. 
For now sacrifice all you have to encourage your husband and cheer him up. 
Quit visiting or communicating with her for now and continue to pray for his family in your closet. 
When the coast is clear, I'm certain that your husband wouldn't hinder you from reaching out to his siblings and family. 
I pray that God will give you the wisdom, understanding and the grace that you need to manage this present circumstances without destroying your home. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)