Saturday, September 5, 2015

My Husband Had a Baby Outside Marriage.

Greetings Aunty Amara 
Please I need your advice on this Because its really bothering me.  
I got married to a man that loves me so much. 
We are living well,so fond of each other that people around envy our love**
I was six months pregnant when my husband opened up to me that he had a baby girl outside marriage and the baby was four years now(he told me he was tipsy the day the lady came to meet him. 
He slept with her and it resulted to pregnancy. 
When the lady informed him of the situation he gave her money to buy contraceptive pill but the lady insisted that he must marry her so after the both family's meeting he accepted to take care of the baby. 
I was disappointed to know that my baby was not my husband's first child. 
He said he doesn't want to lose me that's why he hid it from me before marriage. 
My husband do send them money but the girl's mother now do call my husband every now and then either the baby want to see him,or my husband should come and take them to church/hospital etc. 
Am so hurt and confused. Don't even know how to handle this situation.

Every home has its own peculiar box of secrets, some that you wish never existed in your entire life. 
For whatsoever reasons he may have had, it was painful and insensitive that he could keep such a vital and sensitive information from you before wedding you at the alter. 
However the deed has been done and the best you can do is manage the situation to avoid losing your home to a strange woman. 
For the fact that he got married to you shows that he has great respect and appreciation for you in his life and he believes that you are the best person that has the wisdom and grace to help him become a better man. 
Begin by forgiving him for hiding this from you. I know that it is heartbreaking and extremely painful but please do reconsider him and accept him and his daughter back into your life. 
This will give you the privilege to strip the other lady of her influence over your husband. 
Let your husband know how much you love and cherish him and suggest that he brings his daughter home so that she will grow with the family and her mother can visit depending on their agreement. 
Find out if there is an already existing agreement and seek for ways to get your husband to convince his family and that of the other lady's family to have his daughter back home with him. 
If that is achieved, your husband wouldn't have to always be out of your reach. 
Please this is a very sensitive matter, one that will test your maturity and wisdom in taking care of him and his children including his daughter. 
You owe God the duty to treat his daughter just the same way and manner that you treat your own children. 
You will need to have an accommodating spirit and patience to enable you contend with some not so good attitude that you may encounter with his daughter and her mum in the course of relating with her. 
Please do not relent in praying for your family and your husband in particular that God will help him to manage this without losing her home to the other lady. 
Encourage yourself with God's word and be assured that you have all that you need to help your husband overcome this challenging times of his journey. 


  1. Nnee make up ur mind to forgive your husband.He did absolutely wrong by not informing you so that u condition your mind if u actually want to go on with the marriage.
    Again,i will advice if it is possible to bring the child home and accommodate her as your own daughter.Most single mom usually use their child as a bait to the man they have the child for.To me,i will prefer you bring her home to live with you by so doing,u will reduce the woman's interference in the name of our child this and that.
    Be strong and know u will overcome.

  2. Bringing the child home has its pros and cons. Can you prevent the mother from visiting her child in your home? Will you be able to treat the little girl like your own daughter? What if you come home to meet the woman in bed with your husband? Won't she use the opportunity of her visits to drop juju on your undies? What if she later sends the child on evil errands against you, like the case @ ? The ball is in your court.

  3. Having the child with you does not always stop the affair. Pero's 3 children are with Annie Idibia,yet she was caught sitting on TuFace's lap in a night club. Pray for her to get married to another man and you will be safe.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)