Thursday, September 3, 2015

How Do I Win Her Heart?

Good evening Amara Van-Lare
Please matured advice,I have an issue that is bothering me and do not want to conclude just yet.
I'm dating a lady in her late 30's we are in the same town but she keeps a lot of male friends even before I met her (she prefer male friends to female)I'm a little bit uncomfortable but what can I say .
The problem is ,the same thing she does to me she do to other male friends and you know we humans love to be treated special by the one we love but the only difference is I do see her and they don't because most of them are in a different states, she doesn't mind if they come visiting and some has before now.
Anytime I ask her some certain questions about the things she does I don't like she don't give a straight answer,has her ways with words . 
Though she is caring always want to make you comfortable anytime you come visit her she also has her good part don't get me wrong .
She doesn't do anything on her own discretion only if you ask and also doing things at her own pace it has to be done her way ,never admit she is wrong to me but sometimes I think she takes others decisions.
If you decide to break up with her she doesn't really mind. So my question is how can a man deal with this situation because I do love her I really want to win her heart and secondly do you'all thinks she is serious with me? 

There are ladies who have such attributes that makes you feel that they're not trustworthy or committed in a relationship. 
They are comfortable with male folks that you may conclude that she's having an affair with them but they may not have anything to do with such men except the mutual interest they may share or mere friendship with one another. 
I understand that you wish to have her all alone and not to share her with other men and nobody will condemn you for feeling the way you do whenever you meet your partner in the company of men. 
I am not saying that I know this lady very well but if this be his personality as a human being, I feel what she needs will be a man who will accept her the way she is and be confident in his skin instead of judging her from a far with little or no evidence. 
I feel that you may need some time to understand her personality, her perception to life and relationship and her passion for life to enable you decide if she's what you need in a partner that you desire to get married to. 
Until she has given you reasons to doubt her integrity and sincerity to you, please do not judge her unfairly or try to manufacture issues where they may be none. 
For now I would suggest that you focus more on building your relationship with her and getting to know more about her personality, only then can you tell what you are convinced of and what you feel may be her flaws. 
All you need to win her heart is simply to be her friend of life. 
Listen to her without making assumptions, appreciate her without judging her personality, respect her without imposing your philosophy, learn from her without making her feel naive, care about her without feeling that she's unfaithful and express your intentions with her without feeling intimidated by her friends. 
When you go for what you cherish, entertain no doubt, fears or worries, only believe and be positive and you shall possess that which you cherish. 
The available information on the mail is not enough to conclude that she's not serious with you or the relationship. 
Take your time to win her love. 

Do feel free to share your thoughts with me. 
Thank you for your comments on the blog. 


  1. Yea alot of females are like that. another thing you should consider is her surroundings. I for example,am an only daughter born among 4 sons. I feel more comfortable having guys as friends than the female folk. I feel I can trust them more, gist with them on any kind of topics and they won't be biased and above all, they will tell you the truth without painting it. My husband knows well about this and he also knows all my male friends. Your girlfriend may not be doing anything with them order than just hanging out. Trust her and you will see that in all of this guys u are still the best for her and you have a very special place in her heart. Thanks


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  3. the person above me is a scammer, beware

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. don't fall for his trick to squander you of your money


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