Saturday, October 10, 2015

He Denied Me Sex for Months!

Dear Aunty Amara
Good day, may God bless you for the way you have been helping people that are in need. This is my first time of writing and I am hoping you will help me out.
I have been married for two years plus now, dated my husband for seven months before marriage. Since he got a new job till date, I don’t really know what is happening. 
Trouble started when he moved to Enugu where he got a new job, we were living together at Awka until the new job made us lives apart because I work in Awka. He does not give me and our son up keep money and I don’t complain because I usually use my salary for our up keep. I saw myself through my nine months pregnancy, paid my hospital bills and took care of our child since then till now. 
Initially when he started the job he normally come home on Fridays and go back to work on Monday morning, later he change it from Saturday to Monday without any good reason and now he comes home sometime once in two or three months. 
My husband and I have not been intimate for seven months now we hardly even communicate. I have sat him down on different occasions so we could talk it out but it always ended up with please am sorry it will not happen again. 
But it's still happening and I called the attention of a catholic Priest to help me in that matter and he the priest invited both of us I mean I and my husband, and he asked us to tell him what the problem was, I told him everything that I have mentioned here and he could not say anything reasonable that made him abandoned his family. 
The priest gave us some piece of advice and asked him to take us to where he lives because I don’t know where he lives and I have tried to know where he lives but he refused and keeps on telling me we will plan the visit. 
When the priest told him to take us where he lives he agreed to take us there but when we got out of the chapel he said that we were not going to his house that day that it will be when he visit home we would talk about it. 
Does it mean that he is living with another lady? I feel nothing for him again other than hate. 
Am planning for a divorce, please I need your help for the sake of my child. Please I will accept and appreciate every advice. Thanks

Sometimes I wish most women don't put themselves in the spot where they shed tears of pains and hatred before realising that they are in partnership with a chronic cheat. 
When a man begins to give you excuses why you should not know where he's living or what he's up to, you don't need a soothe sayer to tell you that he's hiding another lady behind his back. 
And it's more complex when the is a child to consider in your decision. 
Maybe you need to do some investigation and find out where he's staying without letting him know or notify him of your intentions. 
When you have discovered where he's living and possibly what he's doing lately, then you may need to surprise him by visiting him and discussing everything with him especially the welfare of your child. 
Please stop taking his irresponsibility for granted to avoid putting the health and safety of your child in danger. 
After your investigation, get your parents and his parents involved into his recent attitude for a reminder not that there's anything they maybe willing to do but so that they will be informed of your decision. 
Finally, you should be aware that winning a chronic cheat and a liar is a battle and one that you need the special grace of God and wisdom to overcome. 
It may not be immediate but it's worth the sacrifice you can give. 
For him to have denied you of sexual intimacy for seven months and simply waving off all that your pastor said simply indicates that he has gone beyond applying some caution and conscience in his dealings. 
He has grown wings and may likely be nurturing another baby with another woman. 
So please seek God's face and ask for divine intervention in your home. Personally it is painful and most times pathetic when you have given your heart to your partner and you watch him do some things that you simply cannot understand why. 
While you pray for him and your marriage, please leave the door of communication open and simply quit nagging or complaining so that you can get to the root of this matter. 
God is with you and will help you overcome this turbulent phase of your marriage in Jesus name Amen. 

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