Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I Can't Move On!

Good day ma, thank you for being our hope and solution to this world. 
Am 26 years of age, am still 300 level in the university,please I need advise on my relationship. 
There's this guy I was having a fling with,  it got to a point the guy said he needed a girlfriend, he got himself one and I was angry and I stopped anything intimate with him. I even blocked him on Facebook and whatsapp, after a while he came and apologised to me about how he treated me, I told him that I don't have anything against him, and we were just friends from then till now. 
One day he said he wanted to come pay me a visit and I told him my boyfriend just left ohhh, and he made a statement he said 'remain toto for me ohhh' I can't even remember how I answered him because it's been a long time since February. He came, we joked and gisted, I even called my boyfriend that he came to visit me, months later my boyfriend asked me to tell him about my past relationships I did and he said I didn't mention this guy's name because he had seen him before in a friend's party we went to. 
At least I had to tell him about him, I told him we had something in the past but not anymore, months later he went through my phone and saw our chat where he said I should remain toto for him, he didn't tell me for some time, he was now behaving strange. 
I asked what was wrong and he showed me the chat, I told him it was just a silly chat and nothing more, he was not convinced he said as long as we used to have something in the past that meant that I had sex with him the day he visited me, and now he said he needs a break, that he needs time to heal, have given him like three weeks break but he still insist on more break. 
I have come to love him so much, the break is really affecting me, he even said if I see anyone I like that I should move on with my life, but still I can't move on.
I have done other things that annoyed him but he kept hitting on the chat issue. How do I convince him that nothing happened on that day the other guy visited me, please advise me on what to do please, thanks. 

Maybe you may need to learn from this relationship never to allow a fling of a fly to perch on your lifetime meal of relationship or marriage because most times they send a very derogatory image of your personality, attitude and values in life. 
Always remember that the way and manner you may perceive a chat may not be the same way your partner may understand them. Many women have collapsed, shed tears and wailed with pains and agony to some harmless chat that their partner had with other ladies. 
Just like you, they never had anything to do with such a person but their partner could not understand their explanations so next time please never you condone such a person to say such a thing to you, if possible delete the person from your heart and disengage from every form of communication from him. 
Now that he has emphatically said that you may move on, the best way to convince him of your innocence is to move on and accept yourself even though you feel hurt. 
Yes you love him but unfortunately the image of such a chat may never leave his memory in a hurry and even if he decides to stay back,it will be because of your vagina and nothing more. 
Since he couldn't forgive you nor appreciate you beyond what he read, then there is little that you can so to win his love. 
Quit every fling and focus on self development and capacity building. 
Focus on your studies and give your heart to serving God now that you have the privilege, if possible please keep sex out of your relationship to avoid some embarrassing experiences as this. 
In the end, if God has destined him for you, nobody will take your place in his life but simply don't fight to win his love but allow him to make his decision and stand by it. 

1 comment:

  1. I hope you learn to delete incriminating chats and pics from your phone in your next relationship. You should have deleted the chats before your boyfriend saw it. Delete all photos taken alone with a man (ex, coursemate,colleague,etc) from your phone after uploading them as email attachments for the records.

    Would you have believed him if you had seen such chats on his phone?


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)