Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I'm Not Getting the Love and Attention I Desire!

Good morning ma. Am a lady of 31 years old in a relationship with a guy of 36 years old .
The issue am having with him is in terms of communication.He is d type that can stay for days even week without calling and what is discouraging me most times is that even when I call,he picks whenever he wishes.
I stay with my brother so he comes around once in two to three days to see me but before he comes he will call to ask me to keep food for him that he is coming,that's only when he calls.
He is not married that am sure of because I have been to his house severally and his friends are my friends too. I have asked him what the problem was if that was his life but he said not really.
We went to see the elder brother for introduction,he accepted me very well but before we left he asked me hope am the patient type,I nodded on the affirmative.
He said why he asked me was that it was only a patient lady that can stay with his brother.That I have all he wants but he doesn't know my temperament. The way he behaves a times makes me to feel am alone in this relationship.
Before I travelled I asked him to come so we can talk,I called him like five times he didn't pick within a space of two hours.
Later when he picked, he said I should stop calling and allow him to concentrate in his driving that he was driving.
That didn't go down well with me, I was angry so when he came,I asked him who am I to him that he should explain what we are doing. He said am his fiancé of course.
I told him I will be travelling to village so he stood up and started pestering up and down the house,that what was I going to do in the village,that his instincts told him I was going to get married,that I can't do this to him.
I told him am not getting any married. He knew I was having stomach pain but his normal self,he never cared to ask how am faring or if I have been to hospital.
So when I travelled my phone was off for two days ,he was calling and sending different text messages begging and asking me not to disappoint him. That he can't bear what his mind was telling him am doing in the village. Later when I got myself because I did appendectomy,I sent him a text message explaining to him.He said am wicked that I passed through such pain without telling him and I explained to him how I was told not to tell anybody and he understood.
Since then he never called to ask how I was recovering and it's over a week now. 
When we came back from hospital I told him and he asked to speak to my mum and that's all. He called five days later but never asked how I was recovering rather he went straight to ask me something even when I asked if he was not interested in how I was recovering,he said from my voice that am fine nah.
I came back from village and told him but he said he travelled and will call later. The relationship is four months old and it was defined when we met but I didn't see him as serious as he talks.
Please ma,I need your advice/suggestion because I am not getting the love and attention I need as a lady and I don't want to appear desperate before him or for him to see me as a nagging lady.
I love him but am ready to take your advice whether there was something I needed to do to make it work or to let him be for sometime. 
Thank you and God bless.

Your mail sounded as though you have known this man for four years but four months? I think that you are simply expecting so much from a stranger. 
Obviously from your mail, he's worried about your not serving him dinner and possibly your body which has been the reason for his concerns about your whereabouts and never worried about your health. 
When you choke your partner with so much attention and care, most men take it for granted because they have already won the trophy so why the sweat? 
I will suggest that you give him so much distance and pretend as though you don't even know that he exists. 
Stop the so many accountability updates he gives to you and stop inviting him for dinner. 
That you know his brother doesn't mean that you are the one in his heart. 
If he's still busy with work, there's no way he'll make out time for you and your concerns so allow him to do the needful by wooing you as though that was his only hope of getting married or being happy. 
If he cannot give you his attention and affection by communicating with you, dear please give your heart to God and pray for your own partner and not flashy time wasters.


  1. One of the 12 tests of Love,is THE TEST OF STABILITY. This guy is emotionally unstable and his family knows it. I don't think it is safe to proceed with this relationship,unless you are going to be 'Patient' to endure some emotional torture, and unless he shows some commitment to Personal Development,and bringing out the best in you. A man who is not committed to helping you grow,and bringing out the best in you,is not fit to be your husband. A man who does not inspire you to grow by his own growth,is not fit to be in your life either. From your story,I have been wondering: WHAT VALUE IS THIS GUY ADDING TO YOUR LIFE (and,vice versa)? As your husband-to-be,ARE YOU REALLY SAFE WITH HIM? AND,HOPE YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM? COS,IF YOU ARE,YOUR CASE JUST GOT MORE COMPLICATED. Go and get the following:
    1. Should I Say 'YES'?, by Pastor Bankie
    2. How To Know If He's A Bozo,or A Boaz?, by Sola Adio
    Download 'THE 12 TESTS OF LOVE',by Tekena Ikoko, and other 712 FREE DOWNLOADS - Over 130 BOOKS & More than 570 MP3s/VIDEOS:

    1. The Test of TIME, by Tekena Ikoko
    2. The Test of KNOWLEDGE, by Tekena Ikoko
    3. The Test of DISTANCE, by Tekena Ikoko
    4. The Test of PROBLEM-SOLVING, by Tekena Ikoko
    5. The Test of WORK, by Tekena Ikoko
    6. The Test of FOCUS, by Tekena Ikoko
    7. The Test of PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, by Tekena Ikoko
    8. The Test of STABILITY, by Tekena Ikoko
    9. The Test of ADDITION, by Tekena Ikoko
    10. The Test of COMMITMENT, by Tekena Ikoko
    11. The Test of RESPECT, by Tekena Ikoko
    12. The Test of AFFECTION, by Tekena Ikoko
    13. Social Engineering for Ladies,by Sola Adio
    14. Social Engineering for Men,by Sola Adio
    15. Is He Into Me,Or Does Want To Get Into Me, by Steve Harris
    16. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    17. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships, by Poju Oyemade
    18. The Myth of Singleness, by Myles Munroe
    19. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    20. Handling Break-Ups,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    21. Marriage Miracles,by Kingsley/Mildred Okonkwo

    || Download these and more(a total of 724 MP3s,BOOKS & VIDEOS) in the QUICK ‬DOWNLOADS‪™ 101 Download Manual/Website.

    || Cost of Manual/Access - N1500(bank deposit) or N1800(MTN/Etisalat Recharge Card)

    || Get your copies@ OR,

    || For more info,call/sms/Whatsapp 234-7062456233 ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

    (Note: QUICK ‬DOWNLOADS‪™ 101 Download Manual/Website is a compilation of free download-links to 724 valuable books,mp3s and videos into a 36-page ebook/website. It is Just Open/Visit,Click and Download)‪

  2. My dear, AVL has said it all. You are so acting DESPERATE! I'm not saying you should play hard-to-get. I'm saying stop being all over him. Besides, I don't like all these drama in just four months. Are you a possessive lover? Lol.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)