Sunday, October 11, 2015

Should I Agree with Him?

Hello aunty I need your opinion and that of your fans. 
My family moved from Nigeria to Canada four years ago,for the visa processing and all the expenses, my parents were unable to help with any because they couldn't afford it,so it was my husband and his family that went around to borrow money for us to travel. 
We have both been working and have paid back with interest all the loan and now we are doing fine.
Now I want to bring my parents here to spend few months with us but my husband is saying no because they didn't help us find money when we needed money that it was his family that helped us. 
Is he right to say no? We have been on this argument for a while now. Should I agree ? Because I don't think that's right since they are still my parent no matter what. 

Even if your parents deliberately decided not to support you and your husband in the times of struggle, will your husband really reward them with evil and also reject them all because of their refusal to support your ambition? 
Wouldn't he forgive them that is if your parents deliberately refused to support you and appreciate them for giving out their own daughter to be his companion and help meet even when things were not rosy and palatable? 
Why should he say no now that he's in a position to bless and appreciate your in laws better? 
Or is he rejecting your parents and imposing himself to you and his family? 
If you ask me, this world is nothing for him to make a mountain out of nothing. 
If he feels that he cannot appreciate your parents who nurtured the wife he enjoys today, please do not fight over it but let it be not because you don't have the right to demand for such a favour but so that you don't let third party interest destroy your home. 
Let your husband know that your parents never meant evil for him nor did they deliberately decide to punish him when he needed help but that if he feels that appreciating your own parents will be too much a favour for his own wife, that he shouldn't worry about that. 
Appreciate him for his listening ears and genuine compassion for you and your children and drop the topic. 
He will bring it up when you have dropped it and may try to make things up with you knowing that such a gesture will make you happy. 
Please do not let anyone else know about this no matter how sad or angry you may be at his refusal. 
The interest of your home supercedes your personal desire and wishes no matter how pained or hurting you may be. 
You experience this kind of challenge when you marry a business man who doesn't see the need to appreciate his in laws beyond the day of the ceremony. 
Pray for your home and marriage and commit everything to God, make some savings and plan for your future. 
If bringing them to your base isn't possible, perhaps buying them a gift would be awesome. 

2 comments:

  1. Your disagreement with his idea wouldn't change a thing...you can't enforce it...you can only convince him..
    I'll advice you to keep calm over this issue and do not protract it..It's capable of bringing trouble in your marriage so stay clear...
    Your parents should be fine where they are...you can see them when you go on holidays...peace

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  2. i have the same issue but he later succumbed to bring my mum for treatment even though he wont pay her bills just invitation letter and food and shelter which i would support too. he now remember every thing thst happened almost 4yrs ago that are not even serious. some men sabi play god but i will just bullshit you,na u go bring am up. follow aunty amara adavice and ask him so if you parents should steal for him. he is a business man.

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