Monday, October 26, 2015

When Should You Snap Out of a Terrible Relationship?

He has all the qualities I prayed for, he's nice, humble, caring, God fearing and funny.
Whenever I'm around him, I feel happy and fulfilled, in fact he even told me the same, I believe that we are perfect match but he's always busy and most times when I call, he will not answer my calls or he will tell me that he's busy.
She's so beautiful, elegant and the best woman in the whole universe, a kiss from her melts all my worries away and even my friends admire her whenever she's around me. She has introduced me to her family and they have all accepted me but sometimes she doesn't respect me nor does she support me. She always demand for money and most times when I try to explain some things to her, she doesn't understand me but she will go out and be asking my friends and other friends for the help.
I love her so much and I can't breath without seeing her beside me but this is eating up my bones and I'm sincerely tired.

You see, loving someone is one of the greatest gift of a lifetime journey, one of the reasons for our existence and the purpose for our ministry.
Everyone is yearning for the privilege to experience true, selfless and genuine love which will make us glow with pride and joy but sometimes what we feel or see may not necessarily be what there is to an individual.
Some of us have mistaken some temporary reflections as permanent attitudes of an individual and have been disappointed later on in life and in marriage which has lead to so many breakdown of marriage and many homes.
We have so much love songs but less love in our hearts and minds and many have lost the basic essence of loving to what one stands to gain from another.

Sometimes when some of the manifestations of your partner doesn't feel right with what you so much desire of love and yearn to give for love, please don't just pray, fast, kill your feelings and continue to suffer just to make it work because it may never work when there's no mutuality of purpose and vision. 
Love should be a gift every individual can relate to and selflessly devote his or her heart for irrespective of how challenging or demanding such maybe. 
There's nobody who doesn't yearn for that special moment of love and that special someone who simply makes his or her world complete so if you have been working extremely hard to express your intentions and feelings for him and he has simply been frustrating your efforts and commitment, please look at where you began and trace your footsteps to that position. 
Know when to keep your feelings aside and think with your conscience, know when to seek for counsel and when to tell yourself the honest truth. 

There are some people that we can only love and appreciate for who they are but can never have any commitment with them. There are also some good and awesome friends who will always be there to cheer us up and celebrate our progress in life but we can never have any future with and there are those who we may love and sincerely desire but will never share the same convictions with irrespective of what we do or invest to make it work. 
Understanding the different shades and kinds of relationships and levels of commitments in a relationship will greatly help you to know when to wait, pray or simple leave the relationship. 
Some key parameters of individuals who share the same vision and convictions with you includes the following :

  • They communicate with you even when it is simply impossible for them because they understand that every ship must have an understanding of the captain before they can arrive at a safe destination. In a situation where there's no understanding of the individual and mutual intentions to build a stable friendship, the relationship will crumble before you may wake up to realise what happened. 
  • There is the free flow of gifts amongst each other. This is simply automatic and it doesn't have to be the most expensive but there is always the intention to share something with that special someone who your heart has found peace, love and happiness. It may take any form or attitude from giving time to taking care of the needs of your partner to surprising your partner in a special way or in a simple way. But when there's no giving, there's simply no loving and no relationship. 
  • There's a purpose, vision and intention for such a relationship. People just don't hang out simply because they are free to do so but there spend some time to share beautiful moments and information with each other. Partners who have good intentions and purpose for one another will definitely have a predefined vision and purpose for such relationship. If after eight years you are still not sure where the relationship may be heading to, then I am afraid to say that you are simply with the wrong person and the earlier you leave, the better for you. 
  • These individuals are emotionally, spiritually and psychologically prepared to take the responsibility for their decision and vision in their relationship. They don't rely on friends, families and relatives before doing anything. They don't seek the approval of mummy or the pastor before expressing herself or before proposing to her. He's a man who is mature in every sense of the word and is willing to take responsibility should there be any challenge or need or issues that may confront them. Because relationship aren't for anyone who can sustain an erection or open her legs, maturity most times manifests when there's a challenge to test their convictions and purpose for the relationship and in most cases, some partners fall apart while only a very few individuals stand through the test of time. 
So next time you start doubting whether your partner truly loves you and whether he shares the same vision with you. 
When you start feeling cold with the lady that should make you feel inspired and encouraged, when it feels as though your pocket is being depleted and it seems as though he always call you when you are ovulating so that he can give you a head, then you may need to wash off those specks of feelings from your eyes to enable you make the best decision and avoid regrets later in life. 
While you have the freedom to choose who to fall in love with, please do everything possible never to fall asleep with the wrong person to avoid disappointment and embarrassments later in life. 
We all need love in our life, give your heart only to the partner who appreciates the worth, and value of your heart and not just anyone who appears in front of you and said some things that he never thought of or could have possibly said while drunk or tired.. Lol 
So feel free to share your thoughts with me. 
When should you snap out of a terrible relationship?  


  1. Nice writeup madam..
    But it's not so easy to just walk out when you're in love with a person whom you feel isn't reciprocating the affection shown by you..
    It's normal to fall in love without being loved back in return..It's something you can't control...
    When love takes over you, you just can't help loving even when it hurts...You can choose to part ways but that feeling never dies if actually that love is genuine..
    Most times...we mistake Infatuation for love..
    If you can easily stop loving a person you claim you love even when the person doesn't reciprocate, then you were never in love...
    My take on this issue is simply..
    If you love a person and you know you can tolerate his/her excesses, remain with that person..It's all about personal tolerance..
    There is no perfect answer to relationship's so complicated...
    If you keep walking away from people who do not reciprocate your love for them, for how long will you keep walking out? How would you know you've found one? Is there any scale to show whether that person loves you or whether it's just acting?
    We've seen many cases where two partners appeared to be crazy about eachother only for reality to set it once they get married that probably only one party had love for the other...
    In such a scenario, should they part ways?
    I feel it's all about tolerance ..
    You don't just walk out on a person cos you feel the person doesn't meet the demands of a loving partner...Love comes with it's own sacrifice..It's very hard to let go when you are in love..

  2. I really love this.
    For me love is a decision you make. It is not just about our feelings but deciding to stick to a person after seeing all the gabbage. That's why I'll recommend friendship before thinking of falling in love. This way you get to understand some aspects about the individual which may not be so nice. As such you'd know if you can cope with such individual in a relationship. There's no point being unhappy in a relationship all in the name of love.

  3. someone must love more than the other. Either the man or the woman.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)