Wednesday, November 4, 2015

I Lied to Him!

Aunty Amara ,good evening,I want to thank you for encouraging people's lives and correcting their mistakes.
I have been dating my boyfriend for seven months now,he loves me and I love him too,I have sacrificed a lot in our relationship.
My sister doesn't like him and I can't see their reasons. I and my sisters always have problem because of him that I left the house one day for them,though I came back after one week.
They just don't like him and they can't say any reason for not liking him,they even said he can't marry me that he came to deceive me,they hate him,he is a nice guy,he has been faithful to me,he tells me everything and never hide anything from me. I trust him cos I know he loves me well,we are always together,but I don't live with him.
My problem here is I lied to him after two weeks we started the relationship and ever since then,there's nothing I would say that he believes after promising him I won't lie again.
He always accuses me of seeing another men,cos he thinks am cheating on him. I have done all I could just to make him trust me but to no avail,he sees me as unfaithful person while am always with him.
The whole thing is driving me crazy cos I know am not cheating on him because I love him,am confused because he has been talking about marriage,he doesn't want me to associate with my friends,he thinks they are wayward,he goes to my phone to check my chat and when he sees my chat with my admirers heaven will be let loose that day,he will start accusing me of seeing them.
Am not cheating on him,my chat wit my admirers were just mere chatting and nothing else.
Aunty I need your advice in this matter,how will I make him to trust me and believe me again?
Do you think going into marriage with him will be good? Please help me out,thanks.

Sweetheart, if you truly loved him as you said, you would have told him the truth about your identity and personality. 
Because nobody can see the heart of an individual but everyone can relate with your words and understand who you are by the way and the manner you express yourself. 
When you begin a relationship with lies, you give your partner the licence to doubt you and disregard your opinions even when they may be true or helpful. 
This maybe the reasons for not trusting you and with your mere chats with your admirers, I'm certain that he may never feel secure with your words hence his negative attitude towards you and his constant worries and fears about your personality. 
While you can say that he's trustworthy, he cannot say the same for you because the day you made a mess of all he thought he knew about you, was the day he buried trust in your relationship. 
What can you possibly do? Give him some space and time to heal and make amends where necessary. 
Do not impose it on him to marry you or live as though you can't survive without him. 
With some space, he will have to decide whether you are worth more than your errors or not and then decide whether to go with you or leave you. 
Make friends with the kind of purpose and passion that you have and please avoid any form of lies or deception no matter your excuses or your shortcomings. 
You owe your partner the truth and sincerity in all your endeavours. 
The first thing is to discover self, then accept self before expressing self to your partner. 
Cheer up and be hopeful that he will forgive you commit himself to the relationship. 

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