Wednesday, November 4, 2015

I'm Depressed, Lonely and Hurt!

You have been a blessing to millions of souls out there.
I am a single father 35 years old. I had my child when I was in university but not married. I had him without commitment back then and the mother has long moved on with her life. Have had two failed relationships just at the nick of planning for marriage. This is because it centered mostly on my having a child outside wedlock as stated by my ex and their parents were strict.
There were strict conditions, like one said my son cannot live under the same roof with her not even on holiday. It hurts that at my age, I am still single, not even a girlfriend talk more of wife.
At times I wonder why this is happening to me. I am a committed and serious minded christian who serve the Lord with his whole heart.
Most times I am depressed when I get home to see a lonely home (no immoral thoughts) and knowing my friends are all married. I am really hurt .
Please all I need is your counsel aunty Amara and also the house but no abusive words please.

Dear gentleman, cheer up dear and stop feeling as though you are a failure in life. 
You see not all ladies are mature when it comes to managing their own children and the child of another mother. 
You should understand their fears and help them see through your heart. 
The concern most times is what happens should your ex out of the blues bounce back into your life and start to make life miserable for her and her family all because of your son. 
Other times some are worried that should there be a delay in conception, you may begin to have double mind for getting married to her and possibly consider going elsewhere for children after all the tool is working with a good result. 
The third worry is that you may esteem your child above your wife in such a manner that if she corrects him, you may end up fighting your wife instead of standing by her. 
You see a woman's heart is so fragile that when she desires to fall in love, she yearn most times for security, more security and more security. 
How do you express this to the ladies who you have approached before now? 
Being a Christian is a wonderful quality but understanding the needs of your partner and your duties as her husband and companion will greatly make you a man many ladies will appreciate for the rest of your life. 
As far as I'm concerned, this has nothing to do with being worried because your friends are married but understanding what you need in your life at this moment and going for it. 
You are not a sinner because you had a son and you don't need all the women to accept you and your child, what you truly need is that woman who has been through the rough edges of life and has come to understand the difference between fantasy and fulfilment in marriage. 
Be open, be patient, be willing to sacrifice your comfort so that you can gain the best. 
Pray about it and make friends who appreciates you as an individual. 
Please do well to address most of the issues I raised and please make sure that you do everything within your capacity not to bring any third party into your home so that you don't raise a house of commotion and end up pushing your wife away. 
Take your time and remember that you have a wife who is somewhere praying to have someone just like you(she may even be reading your mail now.. Lol). 
Stop feeling depressed and regretting having your son, he's your blessings and inheritance in life. 
Be hopeful and prepare towards your wedding next year.. Lol kidding anyways. 
Just know that I am proud of you and please do not quit building a personal relationship with God and those around you and do well to greet your son for me. 


  1. Good day madam Amara, I must confess, I love the way u handle issues. Ur advice. I picked something great from u now.thank u very much. As for the lonely man, I add to what Aunty Amara has said. Back it up with prayers, it shall end in praise. Take charge.

  2. Dear brother..
    Comparing your status with that of your mates or peers will only spell further depression and desperation..
    Just as our faces ar different, so are our destinies..
    We all have our different races to run..
    That other relationships failed does not mean that another wouldn't work's all about patience as long as you're on the right track...
    Your being a christian does not avert challenges...let this sink into your brain..
    Given your status as a single father, it's normal for ladies to reject you...Most women wouldn't want the complications of mothering another womans child...but this doesn't mean you wouldn't find one who will accept you..
    Be calm and take good care of your son so that he doesn't feel his mothers absence..
    What will be will be..

  3. Hello amara,pls can i be linked up with this dude?am a single lady,33yrs,a baker n event planner n resides in ph.

  4. Hmmmmmmmmmm Anty Amy linked her up ooooo ooooooo but mama Hmmmmmmmmmm I will not say any thing for now

  5. My brother is not easy for us all the single father and single mother God will see us true, dear follow Anty Amy advice and read d article she wrote about d single mother two days ago. It's well.

  6. Hello Bros,loneliness n depression are both choices anyone can make on his/ her own.those girls were not meant for you I must tell you.what happened in ones life before you knew the person does not matter at all.its who he/ she is in the present that matters. What if you had d pregnancy aborted no.depression is a choice.loneliness is equally a own sister makes jest of me cos I'm still not married (she contributed to d collapse of my last relationship at d point of marriage plans)and I don't have a child yet at 36 but I'm still very very happy and not hurt at all cos I know she lacks understanding. U have a son n ur a Christian so y hurt n feel lonely.Make God and your son your company n happiness n loneliness n depression will disappear.Remain Happy Bro!

  7. Get the book,'THE POWER OF RIGHT BELIEVING' by Joseph Prince. That's what you need now!


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