Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I Want To Break up with the Igbo Man!

Good evening ma...Am actually glad people like you still exist to help point us to the right direction... Ma,please am in great need of your advice.....
I dated a man for almost two years,I just broke up with him...reasons are:firstly I cheated(not sex,just a little romance with another man),he found out and I begged and finally he forgave me but I still asked for the break up...
When we were together, he never trusted me even though heaven knew that I was a faithful girlfriend, he started acting strange towards me even before I cheated,things like: do wrong things,apologize like ones or twice,if I don't still agree he would just walk out on me and maybe come back after some hours and play with me a little.... At times he wouldn't even apologize...
There was a day he beat me up,he apologized and I forgave him ,throughout our dating years I could barely have friends because he found faults in all of them,I always open up to him,I tell him everything, even when any man ask me out...
Whenever we have issues, that would be the first thing he would use against me...He always saw me as a cheap girl that falls for any man(or so I felt)..
I would listen to him whenever he wants to talk but I barely get that listening ear when I want to talk about what's bugging me,I never complained about money to him because he isn't financially buoyant....I don't have feelings for the man I cheated on him with,It was just when I really needed someone to talk to,my boyfriend was never there but this other guy was(then it happened and my boyfriend found out)...
After he forgave me,I decided to quit the relationship because I felt I couldn't live the rest of my life with someone who didn't trust me....
After we broke up,I met another man(an Igbo business man)Though I don't like illerate men as partners, I accepted him just to forget my ex...
The Igbo man claimed to love me(but not the way I wanted to be loved) I don't want to complain anymore so he wouldn't see me as a nagging woman..
Aunty Amara, I don't know if I did the right thing by leaving my ex even though he still wants me back till date,I feel I deserve better.
Am thinking of breaking up with the Igbo man but I don't want to hurt him...My ex says am making a big mistake leaving him,I feel he is right because no man has ever loved or knows me the way he does...
Ma,please am confused on what to do now... Please help me with your advice...I don't want to make a mistake that I would regret in the future..
Sooo sorry for the long story..Just wanted you to understand the issue better before advising..Thank you.

That a man knows your personality and understands you doesn't make him the best person for you because you also need to prepare your heart and mind to submit to him and that you cannot do without understanding, wisdom and sincere love. 

If all you said be true  then it's obvious that you were tolerating him which was why you considered cheating on him and breaking up with him even when you knew that it wasn't the best decision for you. 
You didn't stop there but ventured into another relationship with a man you never loved but wanted his attention and affection so that you can inflict you with pains and disappointment. 

I think that choosing to hurt an innocent man for whatsoever reasons is wickedness in the high places. 
If you knew that you never loved him, why did you consider him for a relationship and why didn't you stay on your own and tell him the truth about your feelings for him? 
Or did your ex push you into that too? 

The simple fact is that you don't deserve both of them because one may destroy you while the other will be frustrated by your attitude. 

You need to step out of relationship and rediscover your identity. 
A man who beat you and cannot forgive you will definitely never take you any serious and he will torture you emotionally. 
A man who you have not accepted for being who he is and for working hard to be a better person cannot be happy with you because you will compare him, abuse him and sometimes frustrate him for no just cause. 

My suggestion would be that you leave both of them and sort yourself out to avoid ending up as a casualty. 
If you are not comfortable with a partner in a relationship, cheating on him will never be an option for you in the relationship. 
Kindly discuss with your partner, end the relationship and liberate yourself from him before considering dating another person. 
That's more honourable than cheating and terminating the relationship. 

1 comment:

  1. During our breakup conversation, he told me he hasn’t been happy for a while. No time frame was mentioned. Yet when we were together, he never once acted like there was anything wrong. We would laugh and joke just like before. He told be he’s tired of being lonely (I guess referring to us not living together). That made me feel so hurt for him because I NEVER wanted him to feel like that. I very loved him. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website http://magical-rituals.com , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.


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