Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Will Resigning my Job be the Best Option?

My name is T*** oluwa***, I am a single lady of 32 years old. I have never had sexual intercourse with any man, I enjoy reading all the articles on your page, and I really love your sound and balanced advices.

I got my job through my boss when I was looking for a place to serve after orientation camp, I met the man in the church one evening during my youth service and God answered my prayers of a good place to serve, he was naturally nice and never demanded anything from me.
And fortunately I was retained after youth service, I naturally bonded with him and made him my confidant because I perceived him to be a matured Christian man and who understood the scriptural principles guiding all true believers.

I am in a worrisome state now because of my boss attitude. He is a nice person and he has helped me a lot even to the extent of helping me save my job, he takes me to and fro work everyday, me and other colleagues.
But what worries me is that though he plays a lot with everyone in the office, he seems to have a special feelings for me, often times he will complain if I don't get up to gist with him even though our office is an open office and we sit adjacent to each other, and when in the car, he will be stretching his hand from the front sit to the back trying to hold my hand, leg or touch my face.
I have complained, frowned even shouted at him many times, but he won't bulge and he won't allow me take commercial bus, as everyone in the office will be seeing me as being ungrateful, he monitors my every steps with calls and he wants to know everything about me, he gets angry when he sees me with other male friends.
And my family has refused to believe my own side of the story because of the many ways he has helped me. The moment I open my mouth to complain about the way he touches and looks at me, they will shut me up.
He often talks and he wished he could kiss my lips, carry me or make me sit on his laps, he will be referring himself as my husband until I get married, and he's mounting a lot of pressure on me to go and get married.
I am so fed up, I don't even know how to put my feelings into word. I am at the breaking point, I thought of pursuing my passion in nursing abroad, and I was sent a form by my cousin to fill and send back, I asked my boss to help fill the sponsor's part, even though I have enough of sponsors myself, I just wanted him to fill it, not to sponsor me, but he seized the form saying I want to leave him here and run away. Please note that my boss is married with two kids. I really can't go anywhere or do anything without my boss knowing because he will surely find a way to get the information.
I really don't know what to do now, I am no longer happy working in that office. Please I will appreciate any advice you can give me.
Thanks so much as I look forward to your lovely response.


Your boss is a good man and a noble man who God has used to bless you and your family. 
God sent him to your life when you needed a helper. It wasn't as though you planned it or you worked for it but his divine hands provided this help for you. 
Indeed be grateful at least not necessarily because of his attitude but because of how God has used him to fulfil his promises for your life and destiny. 
Obviously he's responding to his hormones and because this response ought not to be so since he was already married to another lady,staying around him or working with him will definitely put him pressure to taste your lips someday and likely penetrate your vagina in appreciating your personality. 
For this obvious reasons, please help him to stand in his marriage by doing anything that you know will both help him and yourself. 
This is because with such a good person as your friend, you will never get married because he will make sure that he frustrates the living daylight out if your life. 
His closeness and affection will never help you understand what you truly need and what you deserve when it comes to relationship and marriage. 
And finally you cannot be yourself because doing so seems to be disrespecting him according to your parents. 
Now you must put your parents out of this most important decision in your life. 
Because their interest will always override your happiness in life. So kindly prepare towards leaving the job by saving for the future, getting an apartment before tendering your resignation letter. 
You must do this for the sake of his marriage and his wife who may be hurt and in pains as a result of her husband's relationship with you though seems innocent but is full of great vision and passion. 
You don't need to explain in details why you decided to do that but when you do, please change your contact details and make sure that you break every form of communication between you and him. 
At this age, you should know when a man is yearning for another lady and how best to help him get focused on his wife. 
It's well with you sweetheart and I cherish you for making the decision to keep yourself until the wedding night. 
My prayers is that God will favour you with the desires of your heart and give you the grace to stand out in all your endeavours. 
Feel free to share your thoughts with me whenever you need someone to talk to. 

3 comments:

  1. Dear poster...
    I don't think it is a wise decision to just quit your job without making personal efforts to resist your boss..you mustn't keep running from your challenges, instead, learn to face them..challenges are part of our existence..
    Even if you quit this job and get another, you'll still work with people and there is no guarantee that your next boss wouldn't snoop around you..
    You need to learn to resist all his kind gestures towards you first...I know you might not want to hurt him given all he has done for you but I'll let you know that in your quest to please him, you'll definitely lose everything...you'll only end up bringing shame to yourself, curses, regret and you won't be at peace with yourself, his family and most especially God..
    Reject his free ride no matter what people will say...Do not hang out with him for any reason whatsoever...
    Always remind him to love and appreciate his wife just as a christian husband should and let him know that you'll rather die than be an instrument of asunder in another marriage..
    Strive to stay away from him at all cost then if he choses to fire you, accept it in good fate but let it be said that you tried to keep both your job and your life..
    May God help and reward you for being reasonable...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Most times in life, we know what to do but just not sure if it is the best so we doubt. My dear, you are a rare breed and shouldn't let a man who has allowed thorns grow in his heart thereby choking God's word in him ruin you. What to do is something you know already like I earlier said but I will still repeat them; You are an adult and owe yourself the responsibility of protecting yourself. Your boss has played his part obviously is overstepping his boundaries, wisdom demands you stay off his direction, from boarding his car to giving him easy access to you. A man can only monitor your life or pester you if you allow him or give him opportunity to. Even if quitting the job will be the solution, do it. Believe me, someone like him will only realise he's being driven by hormones just after he sleeps with you and that is when he will remember he loves his wife and kids. Remember God gave us among other things wisdom. It's so we can ward off people like him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Most times in life, we know what to do but just not sure if it is the best so we doubt. My dear, you are a rare breed and shouldn't let a man who has allowed thorns grow in his heart thereby choking God's word in him ruin you. What to do is something you know already like I earlier said but I will still repeat them; You are an adult and owe yourself the responsibility of protecting yourself. Your boss has played his part obviously is overstepping his boundaries, wisdom demands you stay off his direction, from boarding his car to giving him easy access to you. A man can only monitor your life or pester you if you allow him or give him opportunity to. Even if quitting the job will be the solution, do it. Believe me, someone like him will only realise he's being driven by hormones just after he sleeps with you and that is when he will remember he loves his wife and kids. Remember God gave us among other things wisdom. It's so we can ward off people like him.

    ReplyDelete

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