Friday, December 18, 2015

I Don't Want Her Again!

Aunty Amara,good morning,please I need advice and the way forward please.
I have been dating a lady for five years,I am 30 and she is 27 years old. I was planning to marry her in 2016 but I have not told her about it.
I proposed to her in 2014 and she agreed,in September this year,on two occasions,I noticed she didn't sleep in her house. On the first day she said she closed late from the office and decided to pass the night in her madam's house and had a flat battery in her phone,on the second occassion,she said she went to a night vigil and refused picking my calls though we had a minor quarrel earlier in the day,out of annoyance I sent her a text message telling her that she will not see any good thing in life for betraying my trust.
The next day I apologised and reversed every bad word I said and blessed her. Two days later fire entered her house and consumed everything,she said she went for a vigil again,her best friend called to tell me about what happened in the afternoon. I thought it's a joke because anytime we had misunderstanding,her friend will call and say she was not feeling fine only for me to rush there and see that she was okay. I decided to go there in the evening,I called her she said her brother came to pick her to his place,during her stay with her brother she was the only one who use to call at her own chosen time,if I call her she will not pick my calls claiming that her brother was angry with me and warned her not to pick my calls.
She only picked my call in the day time when she was in the office,she moved into another apartment in November and I gave her money to add and pay for the house. We had a minor quarrel two weeks ago,two days later(December 4th)I went to see her and she said we should discuss outside her house. I told her I can't talk outside,she called my mum and told her to tell me to leave her house,on hearing such,I left her,and she started calling my phone,I didn't pick her call.
She sent me a message saying she was sorry that she didn't know what came over her. On seeing the message I decided to go back and see her,though she didn't tell me to come back,on getting there,I saw her male colleague coming down from bike. I knew the guy but the guy doesn't know me,the guy knocked and identified himself,she opened the door for the guy,so we all entered at the same time,she was surprised seeing me.
She blocked me from entering and I was surprised,after some few minutes,I decided to leave and the guy followed me,my girl started begging and holding the guy to stay and asked me to leave.
Three days later,she called to say that I made her to be close to the guy because I didn't come on time when fire entered her house but the guy came on time,she said they were just friends and colleague nothing attached.
She was not telling me sorry for what she did,instead she was claiming right. I am confused please,I don't want her again,I want to move on,I was too close to her and she made me not to be close to other ladies because she was a jealous type,please help me because I am not happy and I am lonely.

I almost shed tears reading your mail. Talk about emotionally abusive partner and this lady perfectly fits in. 
I know that you are in pains and greatly disappointed by her attitude and infidelity. 
You don't need any prophet to tell you that she was double dating with another man and not only does she disrespect you but she found it very convenient to insult your personality by calling your mother and pushing you out of the house that you contributed to rent for her. 
I know that you maybe tempted to assume that all other ladies maybe like her but one thing I can conveniently tell you is that this lady was a greedy lady who was out to milk you down and dump you later on but it doesn't mean that all ladies are like her. 
Be encouraged by the fact that God decided to reveal this to you to save you from making a miserable decision in your life and destiny. 
Organise yourself and take some time not to look for another lady but to simply appreciate yourself and appreciate the things, moments and opportunities that makes your world colourful and beautiful in your life. 
Do not be in a rush to enter another relationship until you have recovered from the disappointment and betrayal of your partner. 
I know that this maybe hard for you to do and you may not find it funny but because it will greatly destroy the power of your partner in your life and give you the control over your future, please forgive your partner for the things she did which made you feel weak and empty. 
Simply let go and give love to all. Don't count the days, months and years that you have invested in the relationship but simply look ahead of you and thank God for not withholding this painful reality from you because that would have made you shed tears for the rest of your life. 
All things including heart breaks and painful experiences do work together for your good so brave up and look forward to where God is taking you. 
Your wife will bring you favour and endless joy to your heart and not pains and disappointments. 

1 comment:

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