Saturday, December 5, 2015

I Feel Like Taking a Revenge!

Hello aunty Amara,
I need you to talk me out of an issue that is bothering me.
I'm a beautiful woman, 28 years old, graduate and working, intact my life seems to be perfect as it is.
The issue bothering me is, years back I was in a relationship with a man for close to two years. I loved him, and when I committed to a relationship, no other man has has my attention.
I felt I was at home, gave him my heart totally, even when people around told me to be careful because they knew him to be unserious with women. I prayed about it and I felt if I was patient with him he would see reasons to change.
I thought we were good,things seemed fine till I started hearing stories of his unfaithfulness with me.
When I confronted him,he would lie and lie till he sees that there was so much fact then he would apologise, cried and begged and promised to cut off and when I accepted him back because I gave a lot of chances, I knew people had weaknesses.
He went right back and does worse. The cycle went on till I told myself he wasn't worth it. I am beautiful and blessed, so why she I be stuck with someone who doesn't appreciate me and who doesn't fear God.
So I gathered mind and called it off. People and family called to begged but my mind was made up.
Months later God blessed me with a wonderful man, a totally sweet and God fearing man who adores me, it's been bliss! I have even been to his village to see his fathers people, we are preparing to get married.
My problem is, my ex is getting married soon and as much as I believed that I have forgiven him of the hurt of his unfaithfulness and lies he did to me, I am not happy he is getting married.
I wished he would suffer heartbreak too and an unfaithful partner. Sometimes I even wish its me he is getting married to. I am a Christian, I love God and I don't like the negative feelings I feel towards him. I tried to re- forgive and forget just so that I can be at peace with him in my heart but it doesn't seem to be working.
I don't understand why I am even bothered. I have a sweet relationship too so why am I still bitter? Please talk me out of this because the hurt and revengeful thoughts that will just won't go away.
Please talk to me please.

Because you're a Christian and one who desires to please God in all your endeavours, kindly let go of your past relationship between you and your ex and see it as God's divine way of revealing his promise for your destiny. 
See your past relationship as God's divine way of preparing you for your own marriage and not his weaknesses and attitude to you during the relationship with him. 
You don't need to be bitter to him or wish him evil simply because of the way he treated you but you can choose to bless him, be happy for him and rejoice with him just to let him know that while he felt that without him you wouldn't be married that God doesn't work in such a manner. 
Look beyond how the relationship ended but focus on what you learnt while you were with him, that nobody deserves to be abused in a relationship and when the person who ought to love you and make you happy becomes the same person who makes you shed tears and wallow in pains, then it's time for you to take a walk and never look back. 
Respect his personality and pray that God will give him the grace to be faithful to his wife and marital vows and not for you to wish him evil because you maybe affected someday in the future. 
Leave your past to God and let your desire be to love your partner and celebrate him in such a manner that even your ex will be regretting why he didn't appreciate you when you were with him. 
When you give love, love will favour you but when you give bitterness, it will also affect your relationship and indirectly rub off on your partner. 

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