Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Should I Divorce on the Grounds of Adultery?

Hi Amara ,I have a problem coping with a cheating husband.
I have two kids and pregnant with the third one. Here is the story,I got married in 2011. My husband had a sales girl only for me to discover that she's his girlfriend.
Each time I asked him,he will say there's nothing going on and like they say, "nothing is hidden under the sun". Years passed and I got to notice that they were sleeping together. My heart was broken because that was the last thing I thought that he would do to me.
He said it was me that pushed him to adultery,he added salt to injury. Now I want to quit this marriage cos I can't take it any more. I spend most of my time crying but I only get hurt the more. He said that it's normal to cheat and that I was a problem to him.
I am broken hearted I just want to divorce him and pick up my pieces.
Please what do I do should I divorce this man on the grounds of adultery?

The pains of betrayal is the worst of it all in human existence and anytime I reflect on what many partners experience from the very one they have devoted their heart, life, time and body to and compare it with what Jesus Christ went through on the cross of calvary, I must admit that I am left with nothing to say that may be of help because I know that words cannot replace a broken trust. 
Sincerely I understand how you feel at the moment and nobody will blame you should you decide to divorce him today. 
You have legitimate reasons both scripturally and legally to consider divorce but what becomes the fate of your unborn child and your beautiful children?
How would you cope with your emotional needs, psychological support and financial commitment that you will have to bear for yourself and your children? 
Even if you decide to get married to another person, what guarantees do you have that he may not cheat on you and what becomes of you entirely from then on? 
Divorce is the last option after all other efforts have failed to yield any positive results including consultation with relatives, counselling, and most importantly praying for your husband and family. 
Please sit down and meditate about your marriage so far, do you think that your marriage cannot be salvaged at all? 
Is there something that you may do which will may have a positive influence to your husband and home? 
Since you have already spotted his sales girl as the obstacle to your marital success, what if you compel him to discharge her and then seek for ways to win back his love for you through prayers and selfless love? 
Can you please look beyond the man who you feel is hurting you and fight against the influence of the devil over your home and your marriage? 
Will you please give your marriage another opportunity to blossom and forgive your husband for not understanding what the devil is doing in his life and marriage? 
Discussing with him may make him defensive but prayers will break him down before God. 
Instead of giving the devil the authority to push you out of your home, I suggest that you consider chasing the devil out of your home and his agents so that you can reclaim that which the devil has stolen in your marriage. 
I am aware that it's not easy and comfortable for you but one I also not fail to tell you is that there is no marriage that is beyond God who ordained the institution of marriage. 
Let's trust God and allow him to reveal his purpose for your life and your marriage.
Please do well to take good care of your health and pregnancy and endeavour to attend your ante natal care regularly. I pray for safe delivery and divine restoration of your home and marriage in Jesus name Amen. 


  1. And the most painful part of this story is that the culprit is not even sorry for his action but is simply seeking who to put the blame on...It makes forgiveness more difficult...
    I'm not of the opinion that an unrepentant cheating husband should be forgiven...
    Forgiveness comes after repentance...
    Even God made it clear that you must repent and come to him for you to be forgiven..
    It makes no sense forgiving and giving another chance to a man who hasn't asked for it except you are willing to ignore his acts and still put up with him amidst the emotional pain and's like pouring water on stone...
    That notwithstanding, biblically, you have the backup to divorce him...He has met the only condition the bible gave.. He is at your mercy now as the ball is in your court..
    However, i feel a divorce should be the last option when other available options to fix a marriage are proven abortive...
    You must not forget that divorcing a cheating partner is not compulsory but optional...Cheating is the only condition the bible gave for couples to think on a divorce..
    So I'll only suggest you try your best after which you can file for a divorce
    Therefore...why not move out with your children under the guidance and awareness of your family members and stay there till this man comes begging with a repentant heart that he is ready to forgo his acts of cheating and turn a new leaf and you and your family gives him the terms and conditions with which you'll move back to his house..
    A deadline should also be given to him after which, you'll be free to completely terminate the marriage..
    I plead you give your marriage this last chance before you throw in the towel...
    May you find comfort..

  2. My dad cheated on my MUM Severally,guess who? Our house help. To the point that he got her pregnant and was ready to marry her. My MUM didn't divorce him, rather she worked her job transfer to our main house which was in the village. And she started raising is up alone with no dad's help. This our houselp gave birth to the child after my dad married her. She even gave birth to another set of twins. Living with my dad. My MUM despite all her tears didn't kill herself complaint but was only praying every night for God to open my dad's eye. A wonderful God, One day the houselp after all insult she gave my MUM came back one day begging mum for forgiveness that she has realised she is marrying another persons husband and left both kids and dad which was after my dad has come begging my MUM to also forgive him that he was blinded by devil. My dad came back to MUM after many years and respects myum till date. And my MUM is also the mother of our house helps kids. The kids calls my mum. Mum and we all love eachother. Their mother has gone back to her house and never marrying dad again. WORD OF ADVICE. Never look down on what God can do on ur home. This is just the devil fighting to break ur family apart. Talk with ur hubby and if no result, go to his other house or stay with his people. DONT DIVORCE!! WIN!!!!

  3. Do not divorce,win. You are the wife. It is your home. She is a thief. You cannot loose. He has lost his senses, he will regain them. Keep control of your house, especially that one in the village, they can rent another place for their filandering but not in your house. How can you leave your home for a sales girl? ? GOD strengthen you and give you wisdom. Amen.

  4. There is no smoke without fire. I am not trying to accuse anybody here but trying to give my own advice. At times some of our men/women do date a married men or women when they are in universities or single without caring. And when they finally married, the law of Karma starts to manifest in their own household. Or haven't you read in the same Bible that a wicked man is given to a wicked woman as a portion? Vice-versa. That is to say, the evil that men do, live with them. The woman in question should kindly sit back and search her soul and if there is any sin she committed before or after her marriage, she should seek for forgiveness from God. And if after her prayer and the man continue in dating his sales girl, she ought not to divorce him but ask him to marry the girl as his second wife. I don't see any problem with that b/c Solomon in the Bible married seven hundred wives and had three hundred concubines. I know some will said that, that was Old Testament but mind you, without the Old Testament, there will be nothing like New Testament. Hotep!!!


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