Thursday, December 10, 2015

Why is He Doing This to Me?

Good morning dear, I am a young mother of 24 years, got married last year with a son!! I and my husband dated for five years before we got married last year.
February last year before we got married my husband called me that we needed to talk I came over to his place where he told me everything about his sex life. The most shocking of all was when he told me that he asked my five friends out.
In the year 2014 my friend told me that my husband has been sending her messages like I want to fuck you, and when she could not condone with that she had to open up to me, when I confronted my husband with that he denied it, telling me that he can't imagine I believe that. He so denied it that we broke up then and later reconciled because I did not know whom to believe then , after our traditional marriage was when he confessed to me that he really did ask her out but did not sleep with her and also told other of my friends he asked out, but they refused, the most annoying was that he knew they were my friends. We had serious issues that I had left his home because it was so heart breaking.
My parents later settled us, I begged him not to cheat on me and even if he must do it, he should not go close to my friends. He had a married women I later discovered he dated around our street and she's seven years in marriage with no issue.
When I suspected them and asked him he denied it that they are just friends and he chat her up everyday and send pictures, he later opened up to me that he just had sex relationship with her and slept with her, to cut this short, just last week I discovered he has been chatting with one of my old friend, and he knows she's my friend , the most painful part of it ,was that she's married with two kids , he chat and delete it.
I wanted to make calls with his phone and to my greatest surprise I saw her text to him , saying that her stupid WhatsApp expired that she just downloaded a new one, and when I saw it my heart was heavy I knew he was up to something, he has deleted his own part of the message.
I called my friend immediately to confront her, she said it was just a chat, that she saw my husband request on 2go and accepted and my husband started asking her questions and she gave my husband her mobile number, after calling her ,my faced changed and my husband noticed it immediately and went straight to his phone.
When he noticed that I have seen the message, he was about traveling that morning and he started coming close to me and asking what the problem was, so that he can apologise. But I refused to tell him because I knew for sure he will lie like always.
When he went out to get something, he chatted with his glo line to my greatest surprise my friend called his Mtn line, I was terrified.. Now he has started acting like am accusing him, do you know he also deleted that message my friend sent that I saw, he promised me before our wedding in the church when we went for counselling that he will never cheat on me again. Why was he calling me like this disgracing me where my friends were? I am shy to talk where they are, now his writing on his timeline on Facebook that some imbecile will make him break his promise. He knew that the ladies were runs women , when I discovered her life style I ran from her, if he is clean as he has been saying,why did he tell me he was chatting with my friend ,or why does he delete the chat?
Throughout our dating period I only dated one before him, I never dated any married man I swear, why is my husband doing this to me? Why my friends? Why married women? He's now acting strange and even keeping malice with me, am confused on what to believe in this case, I don't have the number of this my friend in question, so how did he get it to have added her on 2go, and 2go was not enough they moved to WhatsApp , what are they discussing and deleting?
What do you guys advice I do ,my heart is in pain, please aunty Amara I need this to posted now cos I need urgent advice. Thank you.


What words will not comfort you when it's pretty obvious that your husband is not wishing to quit the pleasure of sleeping with strange women and your friends. 
It's pathetic and more painful because you saw this with your naked eyes but chose to ignore the warning signs ahead of the dangers. 
You believed against the testimonies of your friends and his own testimonies to his infidelity. You allowed your parents to intervene and at least convince you that his penis was born again only for you. 
Today you have a son, your health and your peace of mind to consider before making any decision. 
Sometimes I wish that couples spend more time thanking God for giving them the rare privilege to experience marriage and blissful matrimony and I must admit that I wish I don't have to remind you of the efficacy of praying to win the heart of a cheating husband. 
But what will I do when the foundation be destroyed by the vulnerability of one partner to the devil if not to encourage you to fight with prayers. 
Searching his phones, investigating his social media and confronting him or avoiding him won't yield the kind of results and the reward that you crave for. 
The devil is so crafty that when he wants to destroy a home, he convinces one partner on how to leave the comfort, peace and the love in his home to pursue the fake promises of fantasy and excitement outside his home. 
He does it in such a manner that the husband will be fighting the wife while the wife will resort to fighting the husband. 
One thing that I know is that the devil is fighting your marriage and the earlier you get down on your knees and control his heart through prayers the best for you and your family. 
Please do not ask so many questions and challenge him for locking his device, love him as much as God has revealed in your heart, even though he doesn't deserve it but since he's going after sex, choose to go spiritual and you will see the change in him. 
Work on yourself and make out time for intimacy even though it maybe difficult considering the pains and disappointments that he has caused you lately. 
Submit to God and the Holy spirit and allow God to fight for your home because challenging the head when it's unstable is as good as taking the life out of the body. 
I know that you thought that he has repented but the reality of today doesn't suggest that but it's still possible with God and if you are willing to pray with great perseverance,I am hopeful that the devil will not crush your home and destroy your marriage. 
You have gone so far to look back, you can overcome this phase of your marriage if you can give your heart to God and allow Him to guide you through the turbulent moments of your marriage. 
I feel your pains but I am already praying that this will not be the end of your marriage in Jesus name Amen. 

4 comments:

  1. see dem i must die for marriage by fire by force women!

    my husband dare not try that nonsense with me cos he knows that, that will be d end of marriage, i no send ooooo, my name na OBIAKPOR!!!

    women, make sure you always be at the gaining side incase of necessity!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear, my heart goes out to you. I know you may not have the mind to pray now but try. Thats the only lasting solution. You may also wish to let your friends husband into her sexcapades for her to even tell your husband about your call. Some wise woman once said ,men cheat because there's a willing woman. If she doesn't care about being married then turn the heat on her.
    Secondly protect yourself from hiv/aids. There's still no cure. Let him use condoms and ensure you and him get tested yearly. Lastly I can say. .what peace I have known since I quit even asking who called. Leave his phone. A cheating man must cheat. Let him know that you have chosen to ignore his attitude for your peace of mind. The hurt just isn't worth it. Be strong dear lady. God still watches over you. Lean on Him to see you through.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My dear, my heart goes out to you. I know you may not have the mind to pray now but try. Thats the only lasting solution. You may also wish to let your friends husband into her sexcapades for her to even tell your husband about your call. Some wise woman once said ,men cheat because there's a willing woman. If she doesn't care about being married then turn the heat on her.
    Secondly protect yourself from hiv/aids. There's still no cure. Let him use condoms and ensure you and him get tested yearly. Lastly I can say. .what peace I have known since I quit even asking who called. Leave his phone. A cheating man must cheat. Let him know that you have chosen to ignore his attitude for your peace of mind. The hurt just isn't worth it. Be strong dear lady. God still watches over you. Lean on Him to see you through.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pray my dear,that the lasting solution,its not just worth ur pain,find solace in ur childen,they are ur husband for live who won't replace you

    ReplyDelete

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