Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Why Should I Consider Her for Marriage?

Please ma,
This is my question and I seek for your advice. I am 25 years and she is 26 years. I am Igbo while she is Ibibio. I sincerely love her and desire to marry her.

The problems are: she is not a virgin and have slept with about five men and have had abortions too. She revealed that to me without me asking. As for me, I had never had an affair with anyone in the past except for one night I called her and begged her that I was uncomfortable and that I needed a hug. She refused to come but I pleaded seriously... She later came and we hugged and I disturbed her until I had to suck her breast. I have sinned and begged God to pardon me.

Afterwards I felt guilty and ashamed I did such with her. But I still want to marry her. Ma, do you advice that I marry her? Please give me and let your fans give clear reasons on whether to or not marry her.

Thank you ma.

Just as every human being has an anus so does every individual have a past that they are never proud of. 
For the fact that we all are products of God's amazing grace, we cannot boast in our righteousness but in the grace of God who in spite of our wickedness and weaknesses has been there for us and has shown us how much he loves and cherishes us as his children. 
This young lady is like every other human who has made mistakes and have experienced the not so good part of life. Men professed love to her, confessed how they can't live without her only for them to exploit her body and bid her goodbye. 
She made her mistakes and have learnt from them. For her to have been absolutely honest about her mistakes in the past shows that she has grown to understand the gravity of her actions, have taken responsibility for them and have learnt from her mistakes. 
By mere suckling her breast, you have only revealed that just like her, you are vulnerable and if she flashed her vagina, perhaps the mail would have been different from what you wrote here. 
I'm not in anyway trying to defend her or to condemn you but one thing I do know is that virtues that makes marriage prosper is beyond self righteousness. 
What I feel that you should focus on is in her virtues as a lady irrespective of her past experiences. 
This woman, does she have the wisdom to manage your resources, support you in all your endeavours, encourage you when things are not comfortable with you and stand in the gap for you when you are going through the rough patches of life. 
Does she have a personal relationship with God, one that you know that you need especially when you maybe weak or battling with issues of life. 
Does she have a good interpersonal relationship with others, does she have good manner of approach and is she emotionally, psychologically and spiritually prepared for a lifetime commitment in marriage. 
Does she have the skills and abilities to create wealth, and the interest to engage in any vocational ability that will be of benefit to you and your family. 
These and many more are the things that you need to know before making any decision on whether to marry her or not. 
Unfortunately, nobody else can tell you whether you should marry her or not except God who made you and brought her into your life. 
Seek the face of God and allow him to guide your footsteps not according to your self righteousness but according to his divine grace and mercies. 
In the end what matters is that you marry a lady who will bring out the best in you, give you the peace of mind and help you succeed in all your endeavours. 
I will leave you with this to meditate on, Mary Magdalene was a prostitute but she was the one who anointed Jesus Christ before he was crucified and she was amongst those that Jesus revealed himself to when he resurrected from the grave.
I hope that you will trust the Holy spirit and not your righteousness. 

1 comment:

  1. I hope you will not be psychologically disturbed if her past flashes into your mind in future. thoughts such as "my wife has a dirty past" it can ruin a marriage. somethings are better left unsaid.


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