Friday, December 4, 2015

Will We End up Together?

Good evening ma. I really would have done more pleasantries but am really pressed.
Am 21 years old and I've have a very rough and not so good past. Am presently dating this guy which I pray I get married to. We've been dating for over a year now and there is no straight month without issues. He found out about my past and helped build me into this faithful woman I am today.
I've tried to walk away from that past but each time we have an issue he somehow somewhere bring up my past which I don't like.
My issue now is the trust in this relationship has once been broken and am trying to fix it. He gets angry at everything. The water is not running, the network is bad and every other thing. He always uses the word whenever we have issues "you were not supposed to be the girlfriend" and that get me really mad. We sometimes can't have a conversation without him getting angry. It's either he over flogs one word or he says that am lying or says I don't have respect and compares me with his younger sister or one of those.
Ma'am with the way things are going do you think this will yeild to marriage? Do I need to work on myself more? Cos am really confused.

Everyone had a past, one that nobody is proud of and everyone is vulnerable to mistakes and errors irrespective of how we wish to avoid them. 
But when someone who ought to help you find happiness and healing to your shortcomings tortures you emotionally and gives you many reasons to be sad and moody, then you may have to take a walk and meditate on what has been happening in your relationship to enable you decide on what's best for you at that critical point in your relationship. 
If he doesn't trust you, always compare you with others and mocks your personality, please what else does his love offer that you wished to end up with him? 
If he doesn't care about how you feels, nags at every of your step and abuses you with hurting words, then I don't know how you hope to cope with such a horrible environment because with time you will end up depressed and in return may start looking for ways to revenge as a result of his attitude to you. 
Kindly sit him down, appreciate his efforts in helping you become the faithful and emotionally stable lady that you are today and let him know how much you cherish his personality and then use the opportunity to express your displeasure to the way and manner he has been comparing, using hurtful words, nagging and emotionally frustrating your efforts to be a better companion to him. 
Let him know what happens whenever he ends up saying those things that make you unstable and suggest that he communicate with you as his companion, friend and intimate partner. 
Let him know that you are not who you used to be in the past and that he shouldn't address you as though you are still living in the past. 
Remind him of your commitment to seeing that he's happy and that you wish him well and pray that he will prosper in all his endeavours but with his attitude lately that you feel as though he no longer love you as he said. 
Let him know that you have a breaking limit and that he can do better than making you shed tears every now and then. 
When you are done,listen to his views and then make amends where necessary but should you feel that he doesn't trust you and still compares you with anybody else, then you may need to take a long walk because once there's a comparison, then the man maybe shopping for a replacement. 
Commit everything to God in prayers and allow him to guide you to his promises for your life and marriage so that you don't end up with a partner that God hasn't prepared for your destiny. 

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