Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Does Submission Mean Being a Dummy?

Aunty good evening. Happy new year to you and the house. Aunty am a great fan of this wonderful page and I will appreciate the tackling of my issue. Aunty I have a fiancé and I keep procrastinating our introduction because of some traits I noticed. He is a guy that doesn't believe a man can be wrong. Am an Msc holder while he is a business man though not a graduate but I don't mind.
Aunty my issue is this he doesn't ever accept and apologise when he is flat out wrong, he makes his business decisions without consulting me and when I finally get wind of it and advice him, he doesn't heed to it thereby the business falls and then he comes back bitter. This occurs occasionally.
That aside his ideology is that a woman has no right to be angry thereby whenever I get angry at him he gets more angry and keeps malice and finally I apologise.
There was a time we were strolling and he met a friend and he forgot I was standing nearby waiting, he started gisting for long until I tapped him and when we moved on he warned me not to stop his gists again and then I asked him if I should behave in such a manner, will he be happy and his reply was that am a woman and that he is a man and there is no comparison lol.
Sometimes he says am not submissive and when I ponder on the words I wonder if submission means being a dummy without feelings. He argues a lot and his friends told me once that I have to be really strong to want to marry him. Okay then his good side is that he is a faithful guy. Please what do I do? Am still in my twenties .


This man is revealing what his attitude will be like when you get married to him. From his perception of women, I doubt if he will be willing to give you the privilege to be his friend or express yourself. 
He's such a man who believes that women are for child bearing and cooking in the kitchen. 
Changing the ideologies of an individual takes a lifetime and divine grace of God and that brings me to another subtle observation I feel that you should consider. 
A man who doesn't have a personal relationship with God and understand the principles of God's love and what Jesus Christ did on the cross will find it extremely difficult to work with a lady. 
Like he said that women are not comparable with him so the option of whether to continue with him or not is solely yours. 
Thankfully that he's faithful but marriage is beautiful when you marry your friend and not your boss or judge or instructor. 
I don't mind his profession but I am worried about his personal ideologies and perception of women but then again it's your journey, your choice!

8 comments:

  1. The signs are so clear. But you ignore them deliberately. Do you think you won't find someone better? He doesn't respect you now the going is supposed to be good, what will he do when the going is rough? From your write up this kind of man may even be the kind that hits women. Relationship/marriage is enjoyed not endured. You are obviously enduring a lot. Good luck on your suicide mission.

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  2. It will be suicidal to go ahead with him. He is already showing signs of an unfaithful man - either he has not started manifesting,or you have not caught him yet. A male chauvinist is a terrible husband in the making.
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  3. I have only one advice for you unless u chose to be blind towards it, "run and avert a miserable marriage where u cannot be allowed to express ur feelings".
    Very soon he will say u want to show him that u are a graduate.

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  4. I have only one advice for you unless u chose to be blind towards it, "run and avert a miserable marriage where u cannot be allowed to express ur feelings".
    Very soon he will say u want to show him that u are a graduate.

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  5. Seriously if you'll regret after marriage maybe you make a better decision that will favour you. I don't like it when ladies complain negatively of a guy before marriage and end up marrying that same guy, then turn both families into lawyers and judges settling cases. I don't see a reason why a woman won't be able to take decisions/share her views all because the man sees it as being unethical. Try talk to him about it once again and if he insists on being the law, then it's actually left for you to take a decision. God bless you.

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  7. My dear girl! Is being faithful the only virtue you're looking for in a man? You're more exposed than this dear. I pray to Almighty God on your behalf that you meet a good man of your level. That will love and respect your views irrespective of his background. Then and only then will you enjoy the benefits of marriage. Be wise!!

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  8. My dear girl! Is being faithful the only virtue you're looking for in a man? You're more exposed than this dear. I pray to Almighty God on your behalf that you meet a good man of your level. That will love and respect your views irrespective of his background. Then and only then will you enjoy the benefits of marriage. Be wise!!

    ReplyDelete

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