Friday, January 22, 2016

He's Seeking for a Divorce!

I'm married for five years ,had a boy(5 years old now),my husband abandoned us at the hospital after I gave birth through caesarean section because of hospital bills of N55000 that when I get job I should pay which I did. A week after he beats me up kicking me at the wound site,note he has been beating me when I was pregnant that I almost lost it,he never took care of us,didn't pay his child's school fees,never bought him nor I clothing.
I feeds him ,pay house rent,pay bills since we met till now,we have never slept in the same room,he doesn't sleep or touch me,no sex,no intimacy, do slap me from my sleep that I use to attack him in his dreams,calls me names,witch,evil woman ,responsible of his problems.
Has abandoned us severally for months in different years,called my mother a witch,even my entire family , saying my father gave him poison to destroy his future, that why he doesn't sleep with me is that he always go down when he do,that they use to press him,he always beats me,threatening to kill me. I have some marks of bruises,church have talked ,prayed yet he never listened, said I should go, my families sent for him he refused to go. Note they just knew last year,when he hit me and I fainted at the market and was unconscious for one hour. Doctor said I have increased blood pressure,anxiety due to stress which he said was unusual as I was 28 years.
Three days later, he beat me again this time he almost strangulated me,his sisters were supporting him ,they don't care nor help me,saying I can go but without my child, on one occasion his sister's son asked me for sex that he will care for me which I refused he said I should suffer.
I left to the east on November 2015,my family asked me to leave him so I can remarry since they don't accept his ways but I refused and I was left on my own,I now feel cheated, he was the one that disvirgined me,asked me to marry him,wedded me with three months pregnancy since then he maltreated me yet he told me that his family never care nor love him then,now I am well came back to seek for divorce, his family hired a lawyer for him,threatened me,I am alone,no family member to help me,I don't know what's next, yet to go to the court.
Last week he said he loved me but I know he was mocking me as he usually did after beating me a times,please help me aunty Amara.

Listen to the advice of your family and return home with your son. If you choose to remain with him, then prepare yourself to deal with the consequences of your decision. 
I feel that this man is tolerating and managing you in his life and is doing everything within his capacity either to push you out of his life or to beat you to death. 
I pray that God will keep you alive for the sake of your child because nobody deserves to die for anyone in the name of love or marriage. 
Go back home and work with your family to see what you can achieve with them and decide whether you still want to be married to him or should let go of the marriage. 
Your mail was soo painful that I almost thought it was fake because I can't imagine that a man could humiliate you in this manner and you are still blinded by an illusion to remain with him. 
May God deliver you from the hands of your oppressor and give you the peace of mind to live and take care of your son.


  1. what a life. go back to your family

  2. Take your son with you work twice harder for your life without him Ask God to help you through this difficult time. Of your hours of need.

  3. Take your son with you work twice harder for your life without him Ask God to help you through this difficult time. Of your hours of need.

  4. Ma, no need for long story, you've tried a lot in the aspect of collecting beatings and punches. It's time you go back to your family and start a new page with your son. You deserve more than you're getting from the boy who you called your husband.

  5. U were 23yrs when u married him,he may have married u cos u were pregnant and not cos u were luved.
    U seem to have desperately married this guy and I do not know ur qualification to advice u to find a good job (work on ur English sister).
    I had a baby out of wedlock at 24yrs (after graduation). Marriage wasn't the last option for me cos I listened to my family who took care of my child and let the 'then' naughty guy go.
    I got a juicy job and in 2012 he found his way back;begging for forgiveness. We got married in Dec 2013 and he respects me to d extent that our agreeement that I'll NOT relocate to d east cos of marriage still stands. Today, I speak and he listens although as an Igbo boy he will want to show that he is d man of d house, but we still disagree to agree...lolz
    He and my 8yr old child will be joining me on in Lagos by d end of this academic session (cos of my child).
    U see, when u make urself helpless, help becomes ur name.
    Take ur son and leave. Keep him with his grandparents and find a job for urself. The right guy will come. U just shouldn't have married this guy!!!
    The LORD is ur strenght.

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  7. Nne, I feel the first thing you need to do now is to look at your reflection in a mirror and say to yourself, 'I love me. I love myself. I love my life. I want to be alive. You need to love yourself first for anyone to love you. As it is you have not been living girl. You have been apologising. The man you described is a beast, and the law of animals is that the stronger ones dominate the weak. Loving yourself, appreciating the privilege of life God gave you would give you courage and boldness you need. It would allow you see the beautiful person you are. It would also open your eyes to realise the evil you are exposing your son to. Lady, even if not for yourself, please get out of that toxic environment for your sons sake and don't you leave him there. It's obvious you can afford to care for yourself and your son so you can't say it's because of money.
    I am really baffled when a woman says her man who makes love to her beats her often yet she stays put. I find it hard to understand the love hate affairs, but I guess it's a matter of how tolerant you are. God did not give me that kind of tolerance. Even as a young student I often burried my head in novels to avoid associations that would warrant flogging. So, for me the answer is, Love yourself and save yourself.

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