Wednesday, January 6, 2016

How Should Virgins Prepare for Sex in Marriage?

Hello Mrs Amara, I saw a story of a girl who married as a virgin and how her husband does not value her and how she does not enjoy sex and so on.... I read a life lesson on Facebook about a lady that got married a virgin and after she had sex with her husband she felt dirty and far from God and she does not enjoy sex.
All these story of women who kept themselves and the horror of not feeling happy with their husband and the way they make love is disturbing. Can you please educate us on this virgin thing ...
My friend is keeping herself and I told her about this, she has joined the group so tell this virgin girls to keep themselves for themselves and what are the things one can do to prepare for sexual experience If one decide to kept their body till marriage???


Virginity is a personal discipline first unto God who owns your body and next for your own safety, blessings and divine favour from God. 
Sex is a sacred gift specifically designed for husband and wife for deepest form of communication and intimacy in marriage. It doesn't just involve sweating and romance, it includes blood covenant and spiritual transfer. It is so deep and powerful that every humanity had his or her origin to sex. Now that tells a lot of story about sex so keeping your body is a good thing for anyone who seeks to please God and to protect his or herself from being a casualty of casual sex. 
That said it doesn't mean that since virgins do not subscribe to sex, that they should also look at sex as a sin or a horrible, dirty, unholy and messed up adventure that should be tolerated. Contrary to that, sex is the sweetest way to appreciate your body and the beauty of life. The shape, the reactions, the moanings, the desires and the energy that drives both couples is what gives sex the greatest power of influence in marriage and in life. 
Sex when done under the atmosphere of love, marriage and selfless devotion can crush every misunderstandings, disagreements and struggles that couples face from time to time. Get it wrong on the bed and the home will be on fire. 
So knowing that sex is a precious gift from God and a unique design and desire of humanity, it is very important for individuals to understand their bodies and their sexuality and then prepare for marriage. Preparing for marriage doesn't mean having sex before marriage but understanding the basic principles of the penis and the vagina. 
Every virgin should know about the vagina lips, the clitoris, the uterus, lubrication, erotic zones and orgasm and she should also have an idea of what a penis is all about, understand how the penis works, what a sperm looks like, and what men are attracted to. These are basics of understanding the art of sexuality and when partners are dating, they should be willing and able to discuss about their sexuality, for those who have been sexually active, they should discuss about their experiences, their erotic zones and their own perceptions of sex. They should be able to share their own fantasies and be open to each other without being ashamed of sex. 
They should understand that sex is not a sin and that nobody has the right to deprive each other of sex no matter the excuse except for mutual consent for a particular period of time. 
Finally every virgin should be willing to communicate with each other, and be willing to learn, make adjustments and accommodate the desires and special requests of partners so that they can enjoy the beauty of sex and intimacy. 
They should be willing to drop their restrictions, their perceptions, their myth and rules and regulations they had in the past and embrace the nakedness and the beauty of sex without being shy or timid about their feelings and cravings for sex. 
That one is a virgin doesn't mean that she cannot enjoy sex when she's married and for the fact that one may be experienced doesn't also mean that she may not experience a disastrous sex with her husband. 
It's basically about understanding the communication language of your partner and being able to selflessly (very important) and mutually give their heart to love and sexual intimacy because rigidity will make sex a horrible encounter and lack of mutual and selfless communication skills will make an experienced person to be a living disaster. 
Should we encourage men and ladies to go seek for experience before marriage? Absolutely no because God never created some individuals for sexual experience while he made others for marriage. We must adhere to God's word and prepare our hearts for our roles and duties in marriage which includes giving your partner an exclusive, and explosive sexual encounter. 
Just as babies don't need any training to suckle the breast, virgins don't need any special training for them to rediscover the sexual part of their life and body. 
All you need is to simply open your heart, eyes, body and mind and simply... Let it flow (lol.. you know what I mean right?)

3 comments:

  1. How do i save this,aunty Amara i ji ya.I heard an interestinh experience,i was told to get blue film,i didnt because it will be that you are supporting and encouraging it,is it not souls that are trading their bodies for that?if its animated film ,it would have been different.Just talk to God like a friend and confidant you are seeing face to face.Tell Him your fears and expections,that you wanna enjoy it,He will teach u all things,remember His spirit (HolySpirit) is with us all the time,he is a person but in spirit form..if u dont feel His presence due to one sin or the other,telk God,ask for mercy,go for sanctifying from your priest/pastor,then adk Jesus to send you His spirit which he will do sharply.He said he will not leave us orphan.shalom#

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  2. How do i save this,aunty Amara i ji ya.I heard an interestinh experience,i was told to get blue film,i didnt because it will be that you are supporting and encouraging it,is it not souls that are trading their bodies for that?if its animated film ,it would have been different.Just talk to God like a friend and confidant you are seeing face to face.Tell Him your fears and expections,that you wanna enjoy it,He will teach u all things,remember His spirit (HolySpirit) is with us all the time,he is a person but in spirit form..if u dont feel His presence due to one sin or the other,telk God,ask for mercy,go for sanctifying from your priest/pastor,then adk Jesus to send you His spirit which he will do sharply.He said he will not leave us orphan.shalom#

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  3. Best response for the question, ma'am. Even the prostitute was never taught love making and neither were Adam and Eve. There will always b a first experience for everything but the condition of the mind (esp) and body is what makes the difference. I for one, cannot wait to have my first sexual experience. Instead of fear, I look forward to it. Moreso, I read a lot of books and articles on marriage and romance to keep abreast of what I need to know and do. I no go fit carry last. mbanu!

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