Sunday, January 10, 2016

I Can't Lose Her, Help!!!

Good day, I need help am heart broken I don't know how to react to my present situation. I have been dating this girl for almost five years now she is 25 and am 26, we have heard wonderful moments, she is my pride my everything and have grown to love her. I had planned marrying this year but due to financial constraints I put plans to next year.
Late last year, I noticed she has changed, though I understood she wasn't happy she was dating a broke guy anymore , she was always busy to chat or call or even pick calls. I complained severally because I felt someone was making her act this way, she pretended there was no issue, till she said she couldn't bear and demanded a breakup but I insisted on not breaking up, she told me her heart was with someone else after much persuasion.
I was broken, I cried, I begged, I have been very good and faithful to this damsel, she has been my all, but just in two weeks she had gotten a guy whom she said she fell for the way he approached her as he came as a consolation when I was always complaining, she decided to give Mr a chance but insisted I would buy a car as she said she won't marry and be trekking and I told her to leave that till we marry.
Finally that's her stand, she feels the right way, she is hoping to secure her future but she doesn't believe in me due to my present condition. I need your help as now she has hated me, she shouts always at times calms down to assure me she hasn't gone yet, she has fallen deep in two weeks though she said this guy has no job but she doesn't want to suffer, I know I have a promising future already and I need her.
Five years isn't five days, we have been through so much. I still love her, I still believe I can lift her up, she is all I've got, I can't lose her, help! I still want her back though am in prayers.


I know that you are in love with this beautiful lady. I won't discourage you from loving her though I may not know what you are truly in love with about her. 
I will try to help you understand God's purpose for marriage and the reason why it is not good for a man to be alone. 
Adam was a hard working, positive and a busy man. He had so much on his plate and he diligently executed his task in God's presence. He was a man who never joked with his personal relationship with God nor did he compromise on his duty as a man. 
When he finished his duties for the day, he returned back weak, tired, empty and drained. He was like you and had great vision for his future. He trusted God to provide his needs and God never disappointed him because he realised that he was alone and needed a companion. 
Who then should we call a companion? She's someone who understands the personality of an individual and also has a personal relationship with God just as you do. 
She is an individual who knows what you do everyday and where you need help and encouragement to be better. 
She is not around you to eat what you have but she's there to nurture what you are building and help you succeed in your vision. 
She doesn't make unnecessary demands and frustrates your little efforts to succeed as a man nor does she compare you with any other person even when things may not be as rosy as you planned it. 
She looks beyond your circumstances and challenges and stands to support you and invest her time, resources and energy to see you succeed. 
What troubles your heart makes her shed tears because she delights in seeing you succeed. 
This was the help meet that God promised Adam his beloved son and when God sent her into his life, Adam recognised her and greatly celebrated her as his own favour from God. 
Eve was for Adam a lady who would encourage him, a lady who he could pour his heart to and a lady who he could trust which was why all that Eve had was desirable and pleasurable for Adam. 
Looking into your mail, one thing I figured out was that you maybe hanging out with a liability (please forgive me) a lady who her sole desire is to wear your ring and possess your possessions. 
She looks like a very beautiful lady who has no spiritual, emotional, psychological, and financial value to add to your life. 
She doesn't want to be part of a man who is still building his future (a struggling man in her own words), a man who has comfort for her enjoyment and a man who can provide all that she want irrespective of how he goes about getting it. 
I know that you truly love her but looking critically at this lady, can you say that she has all the qualities that you need to grow in life or she's just waiting for who will give her ring as soon as possible? 
One of the greatest mistakes a man of purpose will ever make is getting married to a lady who is a liability and not his help meet. 
I won't tell you what to do to win her back but one thing I must tell you is never to give up on your vision because a lady want to distract you or to discourage you from fulfilling your purpose. 
It's awesome to appreciate a beautiful lady and to admire her beauty all around you but please do not make the mistake that Sampson did by getting married to Delilah, please go for a lady who understands your personality and is willing to support you even if there was no car or house for you and your family. 
I am happy that you are currently praying but kindly encourage her to read this so that she can help herself and decide whether to hang on with you or to move on. 
Finally, faithfulness must not be compromised on even during relationship or marriage, if she cannot be totally faithful to you, kindly bid her goodbye, shed some tears and move on. 
God still speaks through painful experiences and challenging circumstances and He may decide to take the good that you have so that he can bless you with the best that you need. 
In all I pray that God will order your steps to the help that you need to fulfil your ministry in Jesus name Amen.

6 comments:

  1. Well,5yrs is actually too long but onething I want 2 tell u is dis;if ur woman is tired please let her go.if you beg her 2 stay with u now,you will keep begging her even wen u eventually marry her. Just have the courage 2 let her go if she wants to and I can assure u that u ll definitely find someone who loves u just as you are.

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  2. Well,5yrs is actually too long but onething I want 2 tell u is dis;if ur woman is tired please let her go.if you beg her 2 stay with u now,you will keep begging her even wen u eventually marry her. Just have the courage 2 let her go if she wants to and I can assure u that u ll definitely find someone who loves u just as you are.

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  3. Aunty Amara...u said it all
    God bless you more wisdom, knowledge and understanding

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  4. Wow beautiful, God bless you ma. But most men go for rich lady,someone they can show off with to the society, not home builder.

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  5. Wow beautiful, God bless you ma. But most men go for rich lady,someone they can show off with to the society, not home builder.

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  6. Brother...
    Can't you see that girl has a problem?
    Leaving a guy that is not working for another guy that has no job...
    Yet she claims she doesn't want to suffer...
    Is that not madness?
    We know her type bro...
    Your tears won't bring her back even if you shed a bucket...
    The only way to lure her back is by being successful...
    But bro...
    If she eventually comes back, will you still accept her knowing the type of lady she is? Don't you think God has reduced the number of passive people in your life by one?
    Imagine her mentality...
    She wants you to buy a car...
    Cos she doesn't want to trek in future...
    She doesn't even care whether you steal it or not..
    She just wants to cruise...
    Pathetic...
    I understand how you feel...
    It's only a heartbreak...
    Trust me...lots of us have been there..
    Sometimes....It feels like you're gonna die but you won't...
    Time will heal you..
    Focus on being an established man my brother..
    Holding onto her would only bring pressure upon you..
    And you might do anything just to make it..whether good or evil ..
    Be a man my guy...
    That ladys mentality is a distract to your ambition...
    Let go..

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