Am a 23 years old lady ma. Am in my last year in the university. The problem is I feel used in relationships. One way or the other I always feel like am on the losing end. If I call my boyfriend, I feel like am wasting my time. If he calls I feel like he his wasting my time or deceiving me.
This has led to me having short time relationships, as a matter of fact my longest relationship has only lasted six to seven months. Now am in a relationship with this new guy,things are good but I still feel used one way or the other. I once helped him financially and while he thanked me he mentioned something like he loves me more than ever now. I feel like he loves me for the money I gave him. If we have sex and he says things like you are beautiful or just anything romantic, I feel like he's saying it because of the sex. It makes me act somehow to him at times. I feel like have lost my trust for guys. Please help me ma.
I feel that you allow things to happen to you by chance or by accident. You don't sound like you are emotionally available for any form of relationship but you sound like a lady who was forced into a relationship and she's simply observing everything and analysing everything and then she's feeling cheated on with everything.
Maybe you should consider quitting every form of relationship so that you can rediscover yourself and the reason why you should give your heart to loving and being loved, the mutuality of selfless devotion, the benefits of a purposeful relationship and the essence of marriage.
You cannot succeed if you continue feeling cheated or abused or used by your partner. You need some time to appreciate friendship and being responsible before you can appreciate the beauty of relationship.
I want to believe that you were not coerced into the relationship nor were you raped by your partner so feeling cheated has to do with your not being emotionally prepared for the rigors of sharing and caring.
Focus on your studies and forget about relationship for now. Zip up and give yourself to your passion and hobbies so that you can enjoy yourself and not feel cheated by anyone. When you see someone who you truly love and is willing to share your heart with, you won't feel cheated anymore.
You cannot open a door using the wrong keys. Get the right keys first. As long as you continue on the wrong path,you won't get to the right destination!
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