Thursday, January 28, 2016

I Hate my Husband Right Now!

Good day aunty Amara, as you are providing solutions to people's marital problems ,God will proffer perfect solution to your problems too. I have two issues to discuss with you ma. But this issue is still very urgent. Got married last year May. I'm 36 weeks pregnant.
I once seeked your advice last year July about an issue about my husband's incessant calls to women and I did exactly what you asked me to do. I stopped checking his phone since then. Read: My Spirit and Soul are both Shattered!
But Ma it seems it's getting worse. Recently, my hubby has been dating numerous ladies. Ma I've been doing exactly what he wants. After we got married, he told me to start wearing trousers which I complied with. I started doing many things just to please him still he goes after a lot of girls.
Two days ago ,he bought a new phone and decided to give me his former phone. I don't check his phone if not that he gave me. As I was going through the phone , I discovered he didn't wipe his WhatsApp chat so I decided to flip through. I got the shock of my life. He's been seeing like five ladies at a time.
There was this particular lady he invited to our matrimonial home but the lady declined. He lied to me that he was going for a meeting not knowing that he went to meet the girl in an hotel. I got to know through his chat. Ma most times he now spends time chatting with the girl on WhatsApp . This girl knows he's married. They've been seeing often, what is tearing me apart now is that the girl and my hubby would be going to his place of work together next week.
Ma how do I handle this? I've been soo sad since yesterday, in fact I've been cold towards him. He's been asking me what the problem was since yesterday. I've been trying to suppress my anger but I can't . He's just asking, don't know how to tell him . I hate him so much right now. I just feel like cursing him. I can never ever trust him in my life. I've lost the love I have for him.
Ma I dress well even with the fact that i'm pregnant , I still look cute. I've stored the girl's number. I want to call her and beat her up. I'm sooo sad. I hate my husband right now.
How best do you think I can handle this situation? I'm losing my patience.

Please do not lose the peace of mind and your personal relationship with God as a result of the chat messages you read. I understand that you feel terrible at the moment but do not lose your heart yet or call the lady or confront her for any reason.  
Because of your pregnancy and your health, please do not let this push you into unnecessary stress and anxiety as it may have a negative impact on your health and the safety of your baby. 
Please keep the chat and the contact details and focus on your baby and preparing for the delivery of your baby. This is the most important and the only thing that should preoccupy your mind now. 
When you have put to bed, you may discuss this with him and find out more about the lady and the relationship she has with him. 
Confronting him, challenging him or attacking the other lady will not be in your favour because of your pregnancy. Please soak your tears and surrender everything to God who understands much more and cares about your happiness irrespective of your circumstances. 
Cheer up and be strong, please spend more time listening to worship songs and motivational messages to cheer your heart and encourage you to be strong and positive. 
When you have put to bed and you have fully recovered, then you may write me so that we can discuss on what you should do to manage him and his appetite for women.


  1. if you want some more advice visit my blog i write about relationships and why we need them, also about love and other interesting things!enjoy and i hope it will help your problem!

  2. I agree that you should pray to God about him but I totally disagree and disapprove that you should keep this information and anger bottled inside especially with your condition.It's risky and dangerous cos it might explode unexpectedly on the wrong person at the wrong time. And the reason this affair developed to a full open relationship is because you gave him freedom and privacy. There's no such thing as privacy in a marriage when a spouse has invited a third person(girlfriend/boyfriend). My advice is simple: pray for the wisdom to handle it, then wake your husband in the middle of the night (they know it's serious business when sleep is interrupted). Talk with him calmly, find out why he's cheating. Make him understand your relationship is in jeopardy cos of his infidelity. Find out how he intends to handle it. Pray with him and during the prayers pour your heart out to God. Form a habit of praying together. Follow it up to see he handled it and please don't nag him about it. I wish you the best.


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