Friday, January 29, 2016

I'm a Novice in Lovemaking!

Good evening sister, you will never lack the wisdom to tackle any case that's brought to you here in JESUS name.
I'm 34 and my wife is 25. We courted for two years and got married few weeks ago (traditionally) our wedding is coming up soon. The area I need advice is in love making. I'm a novice in that area "please don't laugh at me".
The thing is that I promised to keep myself for God until my wedding night, but I lost it to a lady I trusted so much that she has genuinely repented not knowing she was looking for an opportunity.
Though it was my fault because I allowed her to come so close to me and I failed to understand that I was not a super human. Since that incident I hated and reparated myself from anything called woman, even my ministry sisters, I saw them as fake and an instrument of satan waiting for an opportunity to terminate my divine calling. Though God forgave me but I lived with this torment for three years, until God delivered me through the intervention of some matured men of God. I never believed that I could get married because I found it difficult to like any girl not to talk of love.
But when I met this girl who is now my wife everything changed. Now I could recall vividly what happened between me and the other lady how everything happened so fast (I didn't last long). Now that am married, I told my doctor about it and he said it was inexperience that caused it.
My wife is still with her people and must follow me after our wedding.
Please is it the same with everyone who is a virgin. If no, is there any natural or medical solution without side effect?
I love my wife very much that I can do just anything to make her happy.
Your advice please. Thanks.


Thank you for giving me the privilege to talk about sex with you. Thank God for how far he has lead you in your journey in your ministry and in life. Irrespective of our shortcomings in life, grace always present another platform for us to reconcile with God and renew our relationship with him so I want you to forgive yourself and realise that the flesh is vulnerable to sin which was why Paul admonished us to subject our body to our control.
I also want to correct the impression that ladies are the agents of Satan sent to destroy men and their ministries. Some pastors have the view that every lady was sent to pull him down but on the contrary, the Satan can use any means or gender to perfect it's plan to destroy an individual. James said that we are tempted by our own desires and God never bought the idea that Eve was the reason why he failed Him. Bottom line is it's not ladies that the devil uses to destroy a minister but the anything that the man is vulnerable to.

I will try as much as I can to help you understand the beauty of sex and the importance of sexual intimacy in marriage.
Sex is a beautiful gift that God uniquely designed to bring two parts to form one vision, one body and one passion for each other. Nothing else can replace the purpose of sex in marriage, your ministry is not as important as meeting the sexual needs of your wife and no matter the level of your anointing, one of the best and unique ways to anoint your wife is by giving her quality sex and meeting her sexual needs
For you to understand sex in its details, I will do my possible best to explain the vagina, penis, orgasm and foreplay.
Your wife has a beautiful body that is powered by hormones which determines so much in her sexual and reproductive health. Some of these hormones are estrogen which is responsible for her ovulation, conception and wetness and progesterone which is responsible for breastfeeding.
Every part of the body of a woman contains sensory neurons that is sensitive to touch and feel. What that means is that the way you romance her body determines to a large extent how you will enjoy the sexual intimacy with your wife.
Some men of God feel that sex is inserting a penis into the vagina, but there is more to sex than that.
You need to connect with the rhythm of your wife, caress her breast, suckle her nipples with gentility and appreciation, use your tongue around her areola, kiss her gently and passionately, kiss her ears and whisper words of love and affection to her. While you do that please pay attention to how her body responds to your touch, if she shakes and gets tickled in a romantic manner, it's an exotic zone that you should note in your mind.
Massage her tummy, kiss her belly button, lick her spine and caress her scalp, spend quality time on her laps, ladies naturally spend time massaging the laps so your doing the same is a huge turn on for them and an assurance that you are not so particular about her vagina.
Man of God, licking her vagina with your tongue is not a sin if you are comfortable with the idea, always remember that her clitoris contains thirty thousands nerve endings while the almighty penis contains only ten thousand nerve endings. Secondly, licking her vagina doesn't mean that you will get infected or that you won't preach the gospel pretty well, because of the sensitivity of the clitoris, you must be tender, gentle and your hands must be neat and your fingernails well trimmed before you can use your fingers to gently rub on her clitoris.
You may ask why you need to do all those, the reason is simply so that she can be fully aroused and prepared to receive the penetrative sex. When you do all these, you have almost completed forty percent of the job and this process is what is called foreplay. Also read The Art of Foreplay!
When you have caressed her to the point that she want you to penetrate inside her vagina, you may observe that her vagina is wet or that her vagina is secreting some fluids. It's not harmful for your health or your body because God specially designed those fluids so that you can enjoy your lovemaking with your wife without sustaining injuries on your penis. Because lovemaking is an art that uses frictional force, lubrication is very very important to enable you enjoy your wife, perhaps that's why it's called honeymoon lol
If you noticed that wife is feeling so much pain as a result of your lovemaking, it could be that she's not well lubricated or that she wasn't wet enough before you inserted your penis inside her vagina, this is where you may need to encourage her to get a lubricant water based most preferred and apply it before having sex with your wife.
The penis is a unique organ that responds pretty fast to what the eyes can see and admire. What makes the penis rise and stand out from the crowd is the rush of blood to your penis. The penis responds to what the eyes can see but it also responds to the pressures and the emotional feelings of a man. If for example a man is worried or anxious, he may find it difficult to have a sustained erection. Also if he's so excited about sex, the penis may collapse at the sight of the vagina or may not last long as a result of the over excitement.
The penis also responds to the kind of things that you eat from the water you drink to the meal you take everyday so good feeding habit is very good for your penis and by extension your marriage.
Cut down on your sugar content if it was on the high side and minimise your consumption of fatty food. Take balanced meals and fruits and vegetables that will enhance the blood flow in your body. Also prepare your meal with spices like fresh garlic, ginger, white tomatoes and moringa seed (in little quantity). They are natural spices that detoxifies the system and enhances your erection during sexual intercourse.
Your wife may play with your testicles, and your penis as she pleases and desires as long as you and your wife are comfortable with it.
One of the great attributes of a loving husband is his ability to pay attention to his wife during sexual intercourse. During lovemaking, see yourself as a man who is prepared for a pleasurable devotion to your wife where your main focus is to meet the sexual needs of your wife. Do not get overexcited or overwhelmed because the vagina is already there in your face and nothing will take her away from you so calm yourself down and look forward to embracing the beauty and nakedness of your wife.
Start slowly and increase your pace gently with time. No need for speed or should you feel discouraged should you land before the time. It is normal for virgins to cum faster because of the inexperience and the anxiety of desiring to impress your wife with your excellent performance in bed. Read: Our Sex Life is not Consistent!
Orgasm is simply the point in which the sperm leaves your body and enters her vaginal canal. One thing you must bear in mind is that just like men experience orgasm, women also experience orgasm but please try your best to help your wife enjoy great sexual intimacy so that whenever she experiences orgasm, she would prepare pounded yam with your favourite soup for you.
There are sexual positions that will be great for you and your wife as you begin the journey of enjoying the company of your wife, positions like the missionary position (the man on top of the woman), doggy position (the lady on her knees while the man enters from her back) Spoon position (the wife lying by her side while the husband enters from her back), Standing position, and many others that you and your wife are comfortable with.
As a minister of God, it is important that I remind you that nobody, no matter his spiritual prowess or his position in the church has any authority to decide how your bedroom should look like or how you should meet with your wife.
You are entering into the covenant of nakedness where you must carry your wife along in all your endeavours because the mood of the house sets the tone for how the sexual intimacy would be like.
You must be open to learn from your wife and also open up to your wife whenever you need sexual intimacy. Being rigid in your bedroom would not help you enjoy your marriage nor will your wife be at peace with you.
So open your mind to sex and feel free to grow with your wife as you rediscover the beauty in your nakedness. Explore everything and enjoy everything as you so please and desires.
There's no need to worry about conception or pregnancy, all that God has commanded you to do is to be naked and not be ashamed of each other.
Sex is sweet and a pleasurable part of marriage and the tone and the emotional atmosphere of your marriage depends greatly on what happens in your sex room.
Congratulations and I hope that you will give your wife an earthquake sexual intercourse on your honeymoon.

5 comments:

  1. People shy away from sex education but not knowing what they are missing.I just learnt that sex is not about your own satisfaction but what u do for partners satisfaction. Keep it up madam

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  2. I have learnt too. Thanks Amara

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  3. When am I even getting married self..

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  4. U are indeed a woman of valor

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  5. Wow! This is quite educating, there are things she mentioned that I didn't know about, thank you Aunty Amara

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