Sunday, January 3, 2016

I Hate This Kind of Marriage!

Please I really need counselor or someone to advice me. I have married for almost two years now, with one kid and she is pregnant for me now. The problem started since I had a misunderstanding with my wife and I slapped her.
Ever since then my wife's family became annoyed and always interfering in my marriage. My wife is not considering me nor staying with me anymore. Honestly I don't know how to put this issue to you because I don't talk too much.
The worst part is that my wife don't use to love me like before, I force her to make love with her and she doesn't even show love to me again. Since then I hardly kiss my wife, I live in Ghana but her parents refused that she stay with me again that I should rent house for her in Lagos and I have rented house for her.
I hate this kind of marriage, I'm confused and don't know how to handle this issue.

You vowed under God and in the presence of many witnesses to protect your wife, provide all her needs, pamper her and be her companion as long as you live.
When you slapped her, you only proved to your witnesses that you were not emotionally mature to actually protect your wife as you promised and that was why they are now interfering in your marriage. 
What I couldn't figure out was what your wife did to deserve slapping as the only way to resolve the issue. What could the misunderstanding be that you couldn't even be patient with your anger? 
How do you expect her to love you as she used to when you have sent the waves of hatred and pains when you slapped her? 
How do you expect her to treat you as her husband when you slapped her like a slave and who knows how many times you did that? 
No matter what the offence or misunderstandings or mistakes or shortcomings or calamity of your wife against you or your personality, you have no legal, or spiritual right to raise your finger on her body let alone giving her a slap. 
Please go back to your wife and apologise for what you did and also make out time to visit her parents and apologise for lack of self control and maturity in managing your differences because no parent will give out their daughter to be abused recklessly. 
I believe that when they see the genuinty of your apology and the sincerity of your heart, they will not interfere in your marriage or dictate what you should do in your home but begin with winning the love of your wife first and she will help you win the heart and trust of her parents. 
It has nothing to do with your not being a talkative but in your ability to manage your emotions when your wife provokes you and not even now that she's pregnant and deserves all the care and attention that she could get. 
After apologising, begin to pamper her by buying her the things that she loves and learn to appreciate your wife and celebrate her for who she is. You have no idea the effects of the hormones in her system during the pregnancy and the pains and discomforts she has to endure for the sake of your children. 
Always bear this in mind that a pregnant woman is always right no matter what she does, with time you will understand why I said so. 
I pray that God will give you the wisdom and patience to grow in love with your wife and help you to manage your emotions without being violent in your marriage in Jesus name Amen. 

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