Monday, January 4, 2016

I'm Scared to Love with my Heart!

Good evening ma compliments of the season.. I really appreciate the good works that God has been using you to do.....
Am a guy of 21 years old, I had a relationship as at when I was in Secondary School and it lasted for six years. We actually broke after lots of break-up and make-up. I loved this girl so much with all my heart likewise her and we had an agreement to have a defined relationship without sex but things changed later on..
She started complaining that I've changed, of which I know I wasn't faulty in any area. I do the calling , texting and all she doesn't reciprocate, she calls when she feels like calling like once in two months still she complained that I've changed.
To cut the story short we broke up in July last year... Now my problem is I feel like I don't need a relationship anymore at times if I kinda have interest in a girl and I eventually woo her and she says no I feel discouraged and won't take it serious anymore.
There's this particular girl in my department she has been a good friend for over a year now, I have feelings for her and I know very well that she loves me so I told her about it, she has playfully been telling me "NO" but I still feel discouraged even wen I know how she feels and as a result of that, I've been taking the whole thing as play but deep down am longing for her..
Am kinda scared to love with my everything .... Please how do I go about it. Help me.

In as much as you feel discouraged because of how the first relationship ended, but one thing you must not take away from that experience is that you are growing to be a loving, understanding, wise and a better man who can spot when what you feel is no longer what you experience in the relationship and to also know when to part ways when you and your partner can no longer agree to work with each other irrespective of the love you have for her. 
You need to be proud of yourself because at your age, you have shown maturity and discipline in your relationship even though this could have come much later but then again, life doesn't give one a specific path to discovering who you are and your purpose on earth. 
One of the things you must learn is that rejection doesn't necessarily change anything in your life if you know who you are and what you can do in life. You must be willing and emotionally prepared to be rejected by those you feel attracted to, not necessarily because they hate you but simply because they have no idea what your intentions are for them or what their fears could possibly be or what their experiences in past could have been. This will help you not to be discouraged but to revalidate yourself and encourage your heart to give love instead of fear and anxiety. 
Instead of being too serious about what you feel for a lady, try to approach life and relationship from the fun part of it. Something like, how would you feel if I told you that you are the most beautiful lady in the whole world, and she's like, I'll feel like you're a clown and then you could respond by saying that most clowns are always charming.. Lol 
Sustain a communication with a lady without scaring her with I love you and I want us to be in a serious relationship! Take your time and build a healthy friendship with a lady and allow love to fly from your eyes into her soul. 
Let me ask you, if you woo a lady today and she just jumps up and say yes yes yes, you're the one and I've been praying and fasting for you to approach me, won't you run away from her? Lol I'm certain that you know the answer to that. 
Most ladies won't tell you yes just because you came to rehearse your catch up lines with them but will take you serious when you persist and sustain the communication, explaining why she's better than all other girls around you. 
So do not lose hope because she said no, it could be a crack that will open her heart to love when you continue to remind her, express your love to her and appreciate her personality selflessly. 
Make friends with those who have good attitude, committed to their studies and have a personal relationship with God so that it will spur you to study your books and graduate with the best grades in your school. 
Take some time to appreciate yourself and focus on your studies, you cannot give your heart to love when you are hurting from the pains of your past relationship. 
Commit everything to God, and please do not fail to study your books. When you are free, devote yourself to learning some skills and virtues that will strengthen you as a man and make you financially independent even if there is a delay in getting job offers. 
With time and patience and prayers, I know that God will give you the wife of your heart desire.

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