Thursday, January 7, 2016

Men Don't Look my Way, I'm Broken!

Please ma I appreciate what God is using you to do. Please I really don't know what to do. Am a girl of 30 years and I have prayed for so many years to get married yet nothing. Its like a dream to me, I have prepared myself and waited patiently on God but it seems not to be forthcoming. It has led me wondering if some prayers are being answered at all.
Men seem not to look my way and its heart breaking. One of my colleague tried getting me hooked up but the guy is 43 years old that's 13 years older than me(though I don't really like that ).
The issue is that he is married before and divorced and am not comfortable with that plus he said no white wedding, his age and also physically. Am not judging but am being frank because I need help. Ma now am confused. I don't know what to do and am scared if I will meet another person as they don't look my way or notice me which keeps me wondering and heartbreaking.
I have gone to churches for prayers and haven't lived a rough life but I don't know what's happening. I have prayed, fasted yet nothing. Please ma, help me because am losing it and my faith as well.
I know God answers prayers but my case is making me believe otherwise. A times am soo lonely. I had a lot of dreams of being a good wife and mother since childhood. I worked towards that and that dream made me start earlier to pray for my marriage and true life partner.
It's just unbelievable am still single despite all. Please help me ma. GOD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU MORE WISDOM IN JESUS NAME AMEN.

I picked interest in your mail because of your description of the man that you met. You had issues with his age and physical appearance and I was asking myself what have you been praying and preparing yourself for when you look at God's image and then make mockery of his personality. 
I understand that you may not want to marry a divorcee but making such a comment about his physical appearance made me feel that you may be too selective and have some sense of pride in yourself(please forgive me if I'm wrong). 
Abraham attended to angels without knowing that they were angels because he humbled himself and was hospitable to strangers. Ruth was so humble that the king had no other option than to marry her. 
Most of our beautiful ladies are so comfortable with high heals, they don't want to associate with anything that is not within their class and social status and indirectly they are so far away from meeting their husbands. 
They are in church but they are never cheerful, helpful and hospitable. They serve God with grudges and daily pray for a husband while hiding inside their own shelves. 
They have a beautiful heart and their heart is filled with so much love but painfully nobody have the idea of who they are or what they can offer. 
It hurts me personally because I know that this wasn't God's purpose for our beautiful generation. Please come down, be free and friendly, start serving and offering yourself as a living sacrifice to meet the need of someone beside you. 
One of the best way to attract the best husband to yourself is by offering the best services to someone else beside you. Please don't hide under your clothes and expect men to identify your virtues and values in life. 
Even if you cannot make friends, be friendly and be open to others, open your mouth gracefully and offer to help when you can. Don't live regretting what you could not receive but live in gratitude and let your face reflect the glory of God. 
Being selective will never help you find your husband, learn to look beyond the height, the size and the kind of clothes that men wear, you will really appreciate the content of their heart and understand their personality. 
What are your gifts, strengths, talents and virtues that lies within you, use them to glorify God and serve humanity. 
Light do shine, please shine! 
Salt do add value to food, please add value to your environment! 
Ladies of virtues don't merely exist, they live their vision, please live for a purpose 
Let the world seek your passion and they will definitely seek your hands in marriage. 
Forget about the man because in all sincerity you don't love him, you only pity him. 
I pray that God will perfect all that concerns you in 2016 in Jesus name Amen. 


  1. With my own little understanding I think physical attractions matters too and she's not being selective.I think there's this peace she's not just having about this man, when it is right you won't be confused. Don't settle because of age, lack of picking or the fear that you may never get another man. Marriage is a life time thing we should be weary of whom we decided to spend the rest of our life with. Seek God first and all shall follow, only Him can provide you with a suitable partner. He is the author of marriage. Let's learn to wait upon the Lord and not be pressure by circumstances.

  2. Aunty Amara,I appreciate Your advise to the Poster. But I don't agree with the way You handled the physical aspect.
    Are You saying She doesn't have what She admires physically in a Man or She shouldn't look out for it?
    All I know is that She should yield her desires all round to God,not that She shouldn't have them.
    Physical appearance is one of the most important factors to consider when making a choice.
    It shouldn't be down played.
    That She doesn't like his appearance doesn't mean She's mocking the Man. It means it doesn't appeal to her.
    The same way some physical characteristics in a Woman don't appeal to a Man.
    We all have our preferences.
    Is She to take anything tossed at her because She's a Woman and is 30?

  3. Is there a way I can reach her please? she can email me 07037292586

  4. I do not read or comment on this blog because frankly I think your advice is biased and tinged with some bitterness? Or what aganist well dressed and/or successful women(please forgive me if I am wrong). This is a cry of help from a lady who has done all the right things and it seems nothing is working. You just assumed she is unfriendly, proud, unavailable, unhelpful, not serving did you get to that conclusion? Who said the married ones were the friendliest or most humble or anything? And what is wrong with women on high 'heals' or fabulous clothing? And why won't she have reservations about an older divorcee who she seems not to be attracted to? 'let the world seek your passion and they will definitely seek your hand in marriage' what on earth does that mean? Her passion in what? Service? Business? How do you know she is not doing enough and at what point is enough'? Dear Aunty Amara, 'counsellors' like you are the reason people have lost faith in church, God and society. You propagate and feed the myth that singles must be doing something wrong. Not smiling enough. Not 'serving' enough. Not passionate enough. Not prayerful enough. Some people are going to. Meet their partners in their 20s. Some 30s. 4ome 40s. And yes, 50s. Some may be unmarried. Key thing is at every point in life, maintain a thankful heart, seek to improve and pursue your goals. And trust God to have your back. Dear Poster, cool off on the prayers and fasting and possibly hopping from from one 'Man of God' to another with their guess work. Be at rest. Discover you. Enjoy your life and strive to make it better. God sees your yearnings for love and a family. I don't know how long it will take, but while you wait, live your life to the full. May God hear your prayers, and let your cries come unto him.

    1. Thank you dear for your comment. I can relate with all you have said. I like your honesty "Pissed". Thanks again. You nailed it expressly.

    2. God bless "pissed" the ones who are not married are naturally termed the ones "without good characters". We should all know that everyone has their own time and not everyone is fortunate enough to be married early but that does not mean we should lose the key essence of God's standard for marriage. Sorry to say aunty Amara am sincerely disappointed at your advice.

  5. I sympathize with u. But If u don't mind, I suggest you contact me so that I can introduce you to a friend of mine who is currently searching for a good girl to get married to.

  6. I sympathize with u. But If u don't mind, I suggest you contact me so that I can introduce you to a friend of mine who is currently searching for a good girl to get married to.

  7. I like that "pissed". Thanks. You were indeed explicit on that. Thank you once again dear.


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