Saturday, January 16, 2016

My Husband Frustrates Me!

Good morning Ma , please I need to know how to handle this, am a graduate, not working now, but I feel so bad, useless, depressed because my husband throws it at my face at any given moment, that am lazy,my age mates are working am here wasting his money.
First, I got a teaching job,to get myself busy, he finds out I now have money to take care of myself and not beg him for it, he asked me to stop, that we are Trying to Conceive (TTC) ,that money is not what we want. Just to punish me whenever we had quarrel, he keeps, hides his money from me, I have to cry and beg him, even when am not at fault, he can keep malice for ages, cos am going to come begging.
Am at home all these while doing nothing, I can't change my personal effects, let alone clothes because he will always tell me no money, I know he has enough for us, of which he gives people and his family in my presence. We had an argument over the money I used to buy what to eat, he gave me the insult of my life,that am wasting his money, maybe because am not pregnant or am not working for it or what??
I want any business I can be doing on my own,now I asked him to give me back the money to be useful for myself and my family that trained me, my young ones do cry to me for pocket money I don't even have mine let alone giving somebody.
The money he stylishly collected from me after my NYSC program N250, 000 just to make sure, I don't have a dime with me. He said he will give me back, I know he will not release the money to me he is so selfish, proud of his money ,do I overreact by asking for the money? How do I start, which business, am fed up at home.
Just because am TTC,I just pray helper locates me financially to start doing something. Sorry for the long write up. Am in pains and hurt now, thanks and God bless.

I am in pains reading your mail because your husband has placed his wealth above his you and he feels happy to always subdue, abuse, control and emotionally manipulate you to his satisfaction. It's a painful experience but at least you can tell who he is today and strive to be industrious and independent of his "riches" while you trust God for your own fruits of the womb.
No matter the opinions of men or the perceptions of others about you, please do not swallow it in pains but always fortify yourself with God's word, encourage your heart and daily things that you love and cherish as an individual.
If the man you love now see you as a liability, remember that to God, your family, your friends and your fans, you are a blessing and a great treasure for us.
Take your time, sit down with your husband when he's in a calm and relaxed atmosphere and pour your heart to him and let him know how pained, bitter and angry you are whenever he makes mockery of your personality by the things he says about you. Remind him of all you strive to do for him and plead that he supports you and not make you feel miserable for loving him.
You cannot be afraid to express yourself or hope to continue enduring his manipulations because the state of your heart affects your chances of getting pregnant.
Talking about your pregnancy, I hope that you and your husband has visited your family doctor and have examined your body and his sperm so as to rule out any medical challenges that could affect your chances of getting pregnant. As for the money that you requested from him, my own opinion would be that you forget about it and ask him to give you some money to enable you start some business in your area, it doesn't necessarily mean that he will give you the money but it's your own way of letting him know your plans and vision as a lady.
You can also talk to your family or relatives to get a soft loan and start up something but I won't encourage you to go for a friend because it may come with some clause which may affect your integrity as an individual.
Pray for your husband, appreciate him and trust God for your own children. Please do not be afraid in your own home. At least you can tell the kind of man you are living with and you can work hard and start up a business that will provide your basic needs without the embarrassment and abuse of your husband.

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