Saturday, January 23, 2016

What Will People Say? I'm Scared!

Please ma I really do need your opinion on this matter.
Am 28 years and in a relationship with a guy who is quite older than me(he is 45) but that's not the main issue cos I don't really care about the age gap...
My problem is his situation at hand,its kinda complicated. He got married in 2006, the marriage was blessed with two kids though he lost one. His brother in law has made his marriage unbearable for him in the sense that he sworn that he won't live to see him get married to his sister.
Now the lady in question is having mental/spiritual issues which made her run out of her husband's house since four years ago. Anytime she tries coming back to her senses to return to her husband, the mental problem doubles up.... This guy am dating has opened up and told me everything about his marriage and has taken measures to end it by going to the traditional ruler of his in-laws to report the matter,and a date has been fixed for them to come back to settle issues though its clearly known both in their village and in town that his brother in law/family is diabolical to the extent of his younger sister dying mysteriously.
My fear is this man in question has said that once he resolves the issues at hand, he would marry me but am kinda scared about wat people will say/react. Hope his wicked brother in law won't come after me? Will my mum accept him cos am her only child.....Though he made a comment to me one day that is troubling me I quote him
"Am the last born of my house,though my parents are late but my siblings have stood behind me all through my trying periods as a result of my marriage,so they said if I intend to marry again it must be from my state and not far again,so if I present you to them and they refuse since you are not my tribe am sorry I would let go of the relationship".
Please should I end the relationship now or still forge ahead not minding the situation??

I am aware that terrible things do happen and I also know that an individual could be affected by a diabolic individual. It's also possible that the pressures of life and the challenges of her marriage may have pushed her into depression which she's suffering from today. 
Unfortunately, it's not a good ground for you to pray that he will divorce his wife or perhaps terminate the marriage. Ever since his wife started experiencing this mental illness, what has the husband done to save his wife and help her regain herself? Mental illness is a sickness that can be managed just like every other sickness and if he's now looking for an avenue to dump his wife as a result of "what his brother in law" said which neither you nor I can verify to know if he was responsible or not, you should be so far away from this man that you shouldn't even think of meeting him let alone getting married to him. 
I know that you feel for him and you want to help him become a happy man, the best way to help him would be to pray for him and encourage him to take his wife to a psychiatry where she will be attended to and not to encourage him to divorce his wife and not for you to stand by him in such moment. 
Please do not influence his decision by supporting him but steer clear from him and terminate every form of relationship with him and pray for your own husband and not the husband of another woman. 
Pray that God will heal this woman and restore her to her home irrespective of the afflictions of the wicked against her and her marriage. 
You don't want to destroy your destiny by considering marriage with him. 


  1. The mysteries and complications surrounding this married man should be enough for any one who's not desperate to walk away.He's not just a married man but one with a mentally ill wife who wishes to be with her hubby but for her illness, his presumed love for you also, strictly depends on his relatives consents. My sister just take a bow and the Wait for your own man.

  2. The woman in question wish to return to her matrimonial home but her health is keeping her far,you said you are scared but I don't think you are and you are not even having pity on him because if you had wanted to marry him out of pity your last paragraph would have pushed you away.... If u ask me I would say you are that ur mum to reduce bp

  3. My dear girl!
    Don't you think that there is too much drama going on here for you to handle? Can you at your tender age handle all this crisis this elderly man is bringing to your table? Coupled with the fact that the relationship does not have an assurance. He may break up with you if his family does not approve. Ha! And you're an only child! Please my darling, look elsewhere oooo. God will provide you with a better choice of a life partner void of drama and complications. Be wise. Thank you.

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