Monday, January 11, 2016

Who Must I Report To?

Good evening ma. Please I need your view and that of the people in this issue. Is it right for me to report my husband to his mother when we are having issues? Better still,who must I report him to? Thank you ma.

God has been revealing his word to me on the concept of nakedness and your mail was an apt one to expound on the divine beauty of nakedness. 
We were all born naked and it only shows how unique God is in creating us and adding all the glory and beauty of life in a little naked being. 
We grew up not knowing what one is meant for until knowledge revealed that we had privacies to cover and then we found refuge in dressing and covering our nakedness. 
However, in marriage the Bible made mention of two important word which every adult must embrace if they hope to succeed in their marriage. 

Leave... This is a deliberate decision with a purpose and a vision to establish God's kingdom in the home and Garden of love. 
He knows that we were all born into a family and we're tied by families but we cannot succeed in marriage if we do not deliberately decide to leave with maturity, wisdom and understanding that you have been equipped with all that you need to stand with your partner, work with your partner and grow with your partner in all your endeavours. 

Cleave... This is one of the most amazing beauty of marriage. The cleaving of two different ideologies, perceptions, vision, understanding, and ministry. 
If there is no leaving, cleaving will be very very difficult and challenging for couples. In fact, most of the challenges most couples have are the processes of cleaving and most times its never rosy or palatable because it takes some pains bond with one another. 
But this cannot be possible if the individuals who desire to have this spiritual journey are not spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and mentally prepared and willing to compromise on their own privacy and personality for the sake of their marriage. 
Now when partners come to cleaving process, you will then be confronted by so many naked realities that you never imagined. 
For some it could be some secret sins, strange desires, bad influence, poor communication skills and the list goes on. 
It can be challenging and if it's not properly managed, some of those secret cleaving challenges has the power to destroy the marriage or prolong the pains of the cleaving process. 

What options do we have? 

When you have issues with your partner, the first person to talk to is the creator of the man or lady who knows all his or her nakedness. Nothing is a surprise to him even when you are battling with them. 
Talking to God sometimes may seem to be slow and less effective but if you and your partner have made God's word the authority of your home, it is a lot easier because irrespective of who was concerned, obeying God's word will come first before anything else. 

After communing with God, the next person should be your partner. God made him naked and he knows him much more than you can possibly imagine. You have the rare privilege to also behold his nakedness and the authority to influence him positively. Your partner should know when you are not happy or comfortable with anything he's doing or not doing. 

When you and your partner cannot come to an agreement on how to resolve the challenges or the differences in your marriage, then you may consult with your counsellor. 
Why counsellor instead of a pastor? It is because a counsellor who understands his calling will never take sides with anyone or condemn one to exalt the other. He would look critically at the issue and then give suggestions and opinions based on what the partners brought to him. 
It is always advisable for couples to go for counselling together so that they both will jointly receive a counsel that will strengthen their marriage and not break it down. 
If after consulting your counsellor or an honest pastor and there's no progress, and the marriage is beyond redemption or the partners can no longer work together, that is when you involve the family. 

Why do we have to consult with the family last, it's because at the point of leaving, God never told you to return to your family for complaints and most times when you report your partner to your family, you expose your nakedness and the nakedness of your partner to the world. For all the times you made your parents regret giving you out in marriage, or for all the times that your family condemned your partner, you simply made mockery of yourself and reduced yourself in the sight of the world. 
Yes there is every need for us to talk to our families but when you are married, reporting your husband to his mother, family or your family may not be the best approach to resolving the issues or the challenges that the couples maybe facing. 
Some parents are mature and will be of great help but most times parents will take sides with their own children and that will be at the detriment of your marriage. 

I know that in times of challenges, it may not be so convenient for partners to think straight and they will logically fall to those who will listen to them irrespective of whether the person has anything to offer or not. 
But your nakedness and the nakedness of your husband ideally ought to be solely for your consumption and consideration but where you are overwhelmed by the challenges of your marriage, a counsellor or an impartial pastor is a better option than consulting parents, siblings and friends. 
One of the most important duties of every partner is to cover the nakedness of the other and one of the ways of doing such is by not involving friends, colleagues, families or relatives whenever you have challenges in your marriage. 

Above all I pray that God will give you the maturity and the grace to manage the weaknesses and nakedness of your marriage in such a manner that nobody else will use them against you some day and all glory will be returned to God almighty. 

1 comment:

  1. I think that in every relationships you should consider the different culture. this article will help you to understand and to know many things! Good luck!


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