Friday, February 19, 2016

Does That Warrant a Break Up?

Aunty Amara... Good morning ma.. I have a guy.. We knew each other last year through my ex boyfriend, at first we started as friends but he wasn't in the country not until last year when he came back that we started having feelings for each other. He took me to meet his mum but she didn't like me. But he assured me all will be well. So we kept going until he travelled back this year..
We were still sweet not until he said I shouldn't call him much as not to waste my money saying calling abroad was expensive that he will call me when he deemed fit. I wasn't comfortable with it but I just accepted. But I called once in a while. But at every little thing he gets angry and look for a way to make us quarrel.
Last week he insulted me so much that I had to cry and ended the relationship.. He begged me after a day I agreed and went back to him cos I love him. Not until last night I told him my birthday was coming up next week that I would love to have a small get-together with my friends and told him I needed little cash.
All of a sudden he said I don't have same vision with him that I didn't ask him for my school fee or house rent that I'm asking for my birthday.. He just ended our relationship like that....My boyfriend just broke up with me. I want to know.. Does that warrant a break up? Or is there something more to it.
Please I need your advice on how to move on. Thanks.

I feel worried about how many beautiful ladies frustrate themselves just to be in a relationship with a guy living abroad whether it be Chad or Canada. Long distance relationship can be challenging even for a very committed relationship let alone one that you cannot ascertain it's foundation.
The reason is simple, circumstances could make communication a bit strained and because you may not meet with the person anytime soon, a little disagreement could become a huge challenge for partners. So for a long distance relationship to work, there must be a strong commitment and convictions that the relationship is heading somewhere and that both of you are willing to give your best to see your vision become a reality.
Back to your mail, the moment he started limiting the way you called for all the good reasons was the time the relationship started crumbling. And having being friends with your ex, I'm wondering if he really cared about having a committed relationship with you or simply wanted to have sex while he was around.
That will be left for him to discern and not me, and since his mother didn't like you, well I can't tell if that guy was really cut out for the relationship.
Another thing that you must avoid especially from a man you are not so certain is rooting for you is asking for a financial assistance especially for your birthday. It doesn't sound like you really care about him because organising a mini party with your friends while he's outside the country sounds like what a lady who wants to rip off his funds may likely do. If you wanted to have a mini party, plan for it with your mini money and inform him about it, if he feels like supporting you, great but not to request for money to organise a mini birthday party that he will not attend.
Now that he has ended the relationship, call him to confirm that that was exactly what he wanted to do and then wish him all the best while you learn from your errors before moving on to another relationship.
When a man is in love with a lady, he finds every reasons for him to make the relationship work even when it may not be convenient for him.
When he loses that passion to be with you, he may be having an affair with another lady.
Look up and never give up, God is still faithful to bless you with your own husband.


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  2. Hmmmm...u want to throw a party and u do not have the fund.
    Is that ur priority in life right now, where u can't even afford this 'want' (it's not a need) that u can do without?
    I am a lady but trust me, if I were this guy;I will see u as an opporunist.
    U lost ur self respect when u asked for money, not just money; for some silly party.
    Think about it.


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