Friday, February 26, 2016

How Do I Start Enjoying Sex?

Good morning ma,may God continue to bless you.
I have been married for a year plus, I don't enjoy sex I don't know how it feels to reach orgasm, I have never had sexual urge before whenever I hear people talk about sex how sweet and enjoyable it can be I wish I can experience it. Although I make love to my husband anytime he wants we don't stay together for now but he always visit every month and stay up to two weeks.
I have tried to put my best(my body and my soul) anytime we make love but it seems not to be working. He feels so hurt whenever he found out he didn't satisfy me he will just hold me so tight and comfort me meanwhile I don't like how he feels about it so I decided faking orgasm just to boost his ego and since that time he has been happy.
I have been applying all that I learnt from but he seems not to like it he is such a cool and gentle he doesn't like giving head he only have one style. The last time I decided to stay on top of him it didn't go well my legs and waist ached I even got tired after three minutes.
My questions are how do I do this bedroom magic people seems to be crazy about for him? How do I know am satisfying him? Can it be he is satisfied any time he ejaculates? He doesn't moan or scream when he wants to ejaculate does it mean he is not satisfied? Is it he doesn't like sex? How do I know good and bad sex? How do I start having urge?
These are they questions I asked myself all the time. He doesn't cheat. He is good and romantic and also caring he knows how to make a woman happy but whenever it comes to sex talks he will shy away from it in fact he is so concious of his body I don't even know how to let him know I have been faking orgasm all these while because I don't want to hurt his ego.
Please ma I need your advice.

Let me begin with you.
First of all you need to relax your mind and focus not in achieving orgasm but in enjoying every session you have with him. Sex begins in the mind and ends in the mind so the state of your mind is what determines how much you will enjoy sex. Is sex beautiful for you? Do you love the fact that his penis is digging up pleasurable treasures inside your vagina? Are you comfortable with your breast, your tummy, your buttocks and your vagina or do you feel that he may not be happy with the way your breast isn't as firm as it used to be?
Do you see sex as a honey and holy exploration for couples in marriage or is it a dirty thing that must be endured for the sake of child bearing? Apart from opening your legs and closing your eyes for his penis to enter, have you thought of playing with his scrotum, testes and his chest? Have you taken him on tour to your pleasure pot or the (mumu buttons) of your body and have you expressed yourself during love making?
If you can work on your mindset about sex and your perception of sex, perhaps it would increase your appetite for sex.
It may also be your body make up where you may not have high sexual libido to crave for sex as others do or you have a low estrogen level in your system which makes your vagina to produce less lubricant thereby making sexual intercourse to be painful and not pleasurable.
It may also be as a psychological challenges. Were you raped or molested or abused or do you hate men for any good reasons?
Depending on what the challenge could be, if they're resolved, you will realise that you may be craving for sex much more than you ever thought possible.
One thing you must know about sex is that it's uncensored for you and your husband and both of you can enjoy your nakedness without feeling shy about anything.
Do not put yourself under pressure to reach orgasm that you forget that sexual satisfaction is a journey through consistent improvement on your sexual intimacy.
So let's start with discovering your pleasure zones, encourage your husband to spend more time with foreplay and note the areas that makes you laugh more, makes your clitoris bounce more and makes you feel wet inside. Take your time and always relax your mind whenever you are with him. Do not import the sexual experience of your friends into your marriage because no two partners are the same.
When you have discovered these pleasure spots, give him a pleasurable foreplay, a blow job, sucking the nipples, kissing his ears, playing with his testes and letting him know how he makes you feel.
Please stop faking orgasm because it is disastrous to your sexual fulfilment as a lady, rather than fake orgasm focus more on satisfying your husband's sexual needs and making him feel fulfilled having sex with you.
Having sex in one position is a terrible way to frustrate your sexual intimacy because with time you will feel as though you are on a no pleasure spot in your vagina.
There are so many beautiful positions that will make you and your husband go wow in your bedroom.
Standing position, sitting position, spoon position, that's where he enters you from your back while you are lying by your side, you may even lie on your face while he enters from your back, you can kneel down and lean forward while he enters from the back called doggy style. He can raise your one leg up and choose an angle of penetration.
Please encourage your husband to write to me please because he cannot be making your bedroom look like a cold room.
On his own part, massage his ego, let him know how much you love him. Men's psychology affects their sexual performance. If he has a small penis, please do not make mockery of it but let him know that he has a perfect penis, so perfect to make you wet by just admiring him.
Sexual discussion is not a sin and every couple should as a matter of necessity and urgency make out time to talk about sex just as they talk about prayers and all the rest. Share your experiences, fears and fantasies, find out what he's yearning for and also let him know that you are willing to make your sexual intimacy to be exceptionally beautiful and enjoyable.
Well I hope that he will write to me because there are some information that is solely for him.
Please do not be afraid to experiment with other positions and do not continue with any positions that is painful and uncomfortable for you.
When men ejaculate, they have reached orgasm but the timing of the ejaculation determines whether it was a premature or quick ejaculation, or a delayed ejaculation which is also not so great for couples.
Take your time and give your heart to making sexual intimacy a memorable experience while both of you work on making it a better moment of passion.


  1. Don't ever engage in any act or sex position copied from animals, I mean if you gear God. Life is not all about sexual satisfaction or pleasure. Don't worry yourself. The bible says that the wife should not deny the husband her body and vise versa. Whether you feel satisfied or not just make yourself available to your own husband. All thiese dog style, spoon and whatever is a shame on humanity. Sex is beyond pleasure. Sex is the avenue through which God brings human beings into the earth, the pleasure is far from the purpose. In the bible God killed a man that engaged in sex in a bid to give offspring to his dead brother. He enjoyed the sex and poured the sperm on the ground and God killed him for that. If he had refused to have the sex in the first place he would not have died. So let us be careful about this crazy quest and illusion called sexual satisfaction and concentrate on more important things in life

    1. Hmmmm. That is what u think

    2. Nawaooo so na only missionary tins na

    3. And what are the most important things here on earth ? Pls sex is meant to be enjoyed by two married consented adult, no matter d style n position, what matters is d satisfaction derived from it as ordained by God.

  2. I totally disagree with you @ Pedro Jesusson when it comes to marital sexual relationship

  3. Madam,there are about 365 sex positions. Some claim it is as much as 600 SEX POSITIONS,and you and your husband is using only one? Okay,let me pretend I no hear am!

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