Thursday, February 4, 2016

I'm Thinking of Moving On!

Hello aunty, my friend just introduced me to this page now. Please ma l need your advice cos at this point now am seriously thinking of moving on. My husband is sometimes violent towards me. He will be shouting and nagging even coming toward me at and little argument. Which he has once hit me but will always deny that he has not and can never hit me though it was not like seriously beating but aunty at this moment I also noticed he is cheating on me on WhatsApp with a girl that lives in Nigeria telling the lady that he is not married that am her baby mama while we were faithfully and legally married with a son and am trusting God for more children.
Please ma advice me on what to do now cos I do not have any desire for the marriage and am tired of his violent behaviour. He likes to scold me with so much anger. He is so manipulating. He does not want me to keep friends when I call my families he will be scolding that am on the phone with them so much when am not. He complained that am not giving him sex. When we have sex whenever he wants even when am menstruating. But still he will deny I don't give him sex. In fact aunty most our quarrelling is about sex how he is not getting enough . Please aunty advice me on what to do cos I'm thinking of moving on. As you advice me on this the God of Heaven Abraham, Isaac and Jacob will surely reward and bless you . Thank you so much . Stay blessed.

The real challenge in your marriage is not that he scolds you or that he doesn't appreciate you but it may be that you don't give your heart to making love with your husband. It's one thing to allow your husband to insert his penis on your vagina and satisfy himself and entirely a different thing to give your heart to not only satisfying yourself but also looking forward to celebrating your husband with the pleasure of exclusive and explosive sexual intimacy. 
The real challenge is that you are not one with your husband and the first place to look into is your bedroom and how things can be spiced up so that you can revive the cold embers of your marriage. You need to deliberately do something different, invest your time, thoughts and ideas in understanding your husband and what he craves for instead of acting as though you are in a competition with him or he's a stranger to you. 
While I condemn in totality every act of physical abuse whether accidental or deliberate, whether it was a mere hitting or slapping, it will also be fair to say that some women provoke their husbands with hurtful and repugnant words that provokes the anger in a man to become violent. 
As his wife, you must understand the things that have the potential to crush the ego of your husband. If for example you make him feel like the only thing he's good at is demanding for sex, you are indirectly pushing him to cheat because he wouldn't want to feel as though he's disturbing you with his sexual need. 
Whenever you make mockery of your husband or say hurtful things against him, do not expect a paycheck because he may not be able to manage his emotions at that point in time. 
Sit down with him and discuss your with him. Find out ways things can be improved and decide to deliberately forgive your husband and his shortcomings. Forgiveness has the most powerful healing power in a relationship especially when you do that with understanding and maturity. 
Pray for your husband and learn to allow him to be the leader even if you feel that he's not making the best decision. Allow him to be the man and do not compete with him. 
For his cheating attitude, also discuss that with him and hear him out. Pray for him and if you can, please let his phone be. I know that there are some provoking and annoying things that you may find in his phone but there's more to be done in your marriage than investing your time checking the phone of the man who you have a spiritual and emotional control over. 
No matter the lies and the deception, your prayers and intercession has the potential to deliver him from the hands of strange women. 
Instead of fighting against your husband, channel your prayers to fighting against the devil and protecting your husband in the place of prayers. God is with you and if you can choose to work with him, your marriage will be different from what you are experiencing today. 
I pray that God will give you the wisdom and patience to prayerfully win your husband to you and restore the joy in your marriage. 


  1. This is the best unbiased truth I have read of all your responses. I totally agree with you on this one

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  3. Men are such a greedy animals. Praying won't help. If your man is a pig - leave him right away and find someone who deserves you. Some people are just not worth praying on believing.


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