Saturday, February 6, 2016

My Sister Detests my Choice of Partner!

Good morning ma, I have read most of your articles and advises on single and marriage relationships may God in his infinite mercy bless you and enrich you with more wisdom. Please ma'am am so confused right now, by God's grace I will be doing my traditional marriage next month but I have some issues bothering me.
I noticed that my elder sister was not happy with my choice of partner because he was not educated(he didn't go to university but finished secondary school). I have explained to her that my fiance is good man and gave her reasons why I choose to marry him but she said that I should leave him that another man better than him will come my way but ma'am am disturbed about that because my sister was the one that saw me through in school when my daddy couldn't pay my school fees.
It's not as if my daddy doesn't have money to train us but because he always had this ideology of training a girl in school was a waste of time so all of we girls in the house saw ourselves through in school without his assistance so my elder sister trained herself in the University till she got married and she trained me in school too.
I so much love and respect her for that because she is my second mother and a strong woman at that but now I want to get married she was not happy because she was expecting me to marry a learned man because she says that the understanding of a learned man and non learned aren't the same that am still young(28 years). I should wait and I will still see a better person much more than this my fiance and she said eight months of dating is not good enough to say I will marry him that I better have a rethink that I can still change my mind now even after our traditional I can change my mind before the white wedding.
Now if I ask her for money she will say that I should tell my fiance that am now his responsibility is not as if I can't ask my fiance for money but because we have a lot of expenses on our shoulders then I said let me ask my sister small money to know if she can assist me since am not working yet.
Please ma am I wrong in my choice of partner? Must someone that is learned marry a learned man too?
My fiance is a God fearing man who gives me joy each time I think of him and he have conscience too and he is caring though we use to have some misunderstandings but he is every woman's dream. Please aunty advice me because am so confused I don't want tomorrow my sister will say she warned me please I really need your advice on this issue thanks and God bless you as I get a reply from you ma thanks .

Your sister do have good intentions and desires the very best for you and from all you have said about her personality, she's a lovely lady with a heart of gold. It is very important that you appreciate her not because of her views about your partner but because of her sacrifices and great concerns to your success and happiness in life.
However when it comes to making marital decision and choosing who to settle down with, it is no longer about your sister but about you and your convictions on what you need and not what others feel that you should go for.
Marriage is beyond the things that we hold deer to our hearts like education, luxurious lifestyle, physical outlooks and romantic skills. They all do have their influence in our personality and our perception in life but making that a priority may be dangerous to what we end up with at the end of the day.
Your sister has done well to counsel you on your choices and her perception about him, I personally would not tell you whether to go for him or not but I will point you to God who knows the end of a thing from its conception. Seek the face of God and pray fervently concerning who you want to settle for.
Does he have a personal relationship with God and desire to make heaven as you do? Does he have a purpose he's living for and a passion that he invests his all in? Is he responsible and willing to work with you to achieve your purpose for your marriage? Is he teachable, willing to learn and grow in love with you?
Do you find your friend, companion, partner, brother, husband and your leader in him and are you willing to surrender your all to work with him for the rest of your life?
Do you find the peace of mind and the happiness whenever you are with him?
These and many more will guide you to helping you understand the significance of your decision and help you make a better decision on this.
That a man is educated  doesn't in any way guarantee that the marriage will be a huge success and for the fact that a man isn't educated doesn't in anyway mean that their marriage won't succeed so seek what's more important to you and go for the partner who completes and compliments you in so many ways while you encourage your sister and others to support you with their prayers.


  1. She is afraid because of your father's behaviour towards you,I think that is why?pray for God guardians alright,God will surely see you through.amen

  2. Your sister's views are in order. However, your conviction is supreme!


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