Tuesday, March 1, 2016

He Rarely Touches Me!

When we met, I was a virgin and he was fresh out of a highly sexual relationship with a girl he didn't marry because of genotype issue. His libido was soooo high and he wanted sex in every form. It was a bit strange to me but that wasn't the main problem. I told him that I wanted to keep sex till after church wedding was done. He had paid my bride price then, he wasn't okay with it at all. Any time he came for sex I will usually refuse him and he'll be sooo unhappy . He kept telling me I was changing him.
When we started having sex the first times were sooo painful, it made it awkward and less fun and he was really angry with me for it. He would usually ask me to suspend my legs up, that wasn't easy for me so when my legs became weak and I complained he got angry and told me his ex was doing it and she didn't die. At a point I decided to keep quiet when it hurts so he can enjoy sex.
At a point, his interest started to drop and has gotten worse after I had my baby. When I asked, he told me I have changed him. That sex doesn't excite him so much these days and that even if he's erect, he may still not want to have sex. The truth is, I actually asked God to reduce his libido so we can meet at some point in the interest for sex, but I am not sure what's happening now.
He rarely touches me and when I try to he'll say he's tired. Well his job is a stressful one. From the beginning of our relationship and marriage, he has always wanted me to watch pornography with him so I can learn, he would usually say. After awhile I thought he had stopped with it, but I recently discovered he still watches it, when I asked him he said well, that I wouldn't watch with. Ma'am I am not sure of what to do except pray.


On your part, quenching his passion for sex with so many lame excuses and pushing him away from sexual intimacy would have affected his desire to make love to you and may have pushed him to another lady. 
Why did I call it a lame excuses? It was because immediately he paid your dowry, he had the right to have sex with you and even if you weren't comfortable then, you could have done it in a better manner than pushing him out of your life. 
Now that he seems to be soo busy with work, you will need to work on winning his heart to your body so that both of you can enjoy your sexual intimacy. 
The likely reason why you maybe experiencing pains and discomfort could be either because there was inadequate foreplay and romance before penetration or because he had a huge penis and your body doesn't produce enough fluids for penetrative sex. 
To help you, start by talking about sex with him, and what both of you can do to restore the romping and the fun of sexual intimacy. Find out what his fantasies could be and why he feels that you changed him or drove him away from your body.
Encourage him to open up to you and to patiently guide you on how to give him sex in a manner that he craves for, I mean he'll never defeat the sac. 
Get a water based lubricant, and encourage him to spend quality time to arouse your body before penetrating you. Comparison will kill the fun of the bedroom because no two individuals have the same sexual drive or passion.
Experiment with other positions that you are comfortable with and explore the best of sex. This is one of the most unique and sacred gift that God has equipped you to give to your husband without reservation and you cannot be praying that he doesn't long for your love because it may lead to loneliness in your marriage. 
Open your mind, soul and body and allow him to make love to you like a run way queen. 
Caress his chest, nipples, ear, thigh, scrotum and the glans of his penis and if you wish to give him a blow job, go ahead and treat him well. 
Fulfilling sexual experience is not a tap that you can switch on and off at will but it's a joint effort and venture and both of you need to agree to make your sexual intimacy beautiful and rewarding. 
You cannot keep quiet while you watch your marriage go down the drain when you can help him realise what he's missing in your life. 
Please encourage him to write to me because there are sensitive issues that must be addressed to help him understand what he needs to bring out the best in your marriage. 
Pornography has a potential to destroy a beautiful marriage because of the wrong signals it may send to couples and he cannot be so busy that he doesn't even touch his wife once in a week. 
But that will be left for me and him to sort out. On your part, please do not just only pray but also reach out and begin with communicating your fears and concerns with him so that both of you can make amendments where necessary. 
Sex wasn't designed for procreation alone but for mutual bonding and passionate appreciation of one another.

3 comments:

  1. Dear I don't want to think he is seeing someone else, as long as he is still watching porn movies, there is every tendency that he is masturbating cos am talking from experience, I have been married for over 15yrs, at first, sex was the order of the day for us, we did it almost in every part of our house until my motherinlaw came to live with us. My wife started sex-starving me(truth be told, she is what I need in bed)she would give me different kinds of reason that I find hard to believe cos it sounded too lame to me. After much persuations, I decided to try porn movies. It was really hard for me to cum on the first day but after that, it became a normal routine for me,now I don't even know if she exist on my bed cos I would cum in the bathroom before going to bed. She should do something fast before she loses her hobby to masturbation or something esle...good luck

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  2. Dear I don't want to think he is seeing someone else, as long as he is still watching porn movies, there is every tendency that he is masturbating cos am talking from experience, I have been married for over 15yrs, at first, sex was the order of the day for us, we did it almost in every part of our house until my motherinlaw came to live with us. My wife started sex-starving me(truth be told, she is what I need in bed)she would give me different kinds of reason that I find hard to believe cos it sounded too lame to me. After much persuations, I decided to try porn movies. It was really hard for me to cum on the first day but after that, it became a normal routine for me,now I don't even know if she exist on my bed cos I would cum in the bathroom before going to bed. She should do something fast before she loses her hobby to masturbation or something esle...good luck

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Justin don't u think u need to sit ur wife down and discus this issue with her? Dear writer dis is d time u have to use ur brain,u have to do everything to win ur hobby back,dress sexy,touch him in a romantic way,u ar a woman u have d power to win ur hobby back,pls dnt waste time anymore, Infact start frm 2day, read on how to satisfy ur man on bed,google it,be smart now or else u will loose ur hobby to another woman or to masturbation

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