Saturday, March 5, 2016

He's Envious of my Husband!

Good morning ma. Please I really need your advice. I am married but we are sharing a flat with my husband's brother cos its a four bedroom apartment but the brother of my husband who is not married has been giving me hell. Several things he does like criticizing every thing I do. Sometimes I cook and ask him if he will eat but he tells me he doesn't need it then when I enter the bedroom he goes to my pot of food and takes food without my consent.
Just a few days ago I hung my husband's picture in the sitting room, when he came back he ordered that it be removed and I was curious to know why because the rent was being shared equally and he started causing problems and during the time of this issue my husband was not around. And I think in the process I said some things that I wasn't supposed to say though they were right.
Please ma I don't know how to tell my husband for us to move out so It won't be that I'm separating the two brothers because I know the kind of family I'm married into and all I'm just avoiding is for him not to transfer this to my kids because I'm pregnant and it will really be hurtful for me if my children's uncle acts strangely towards them all because he is envious of his younger brother.
Please ma I need your advice.

The plain truth is that God never designed marriage to please an in law or to live under the bondage of someone else just so that you don't hurt him or offend him. 
Yes he's the elder brother of your husband but you deserve some respect and courtesy and also there should be some form of privacy which he ought to accord to you even if he's not comfortable with his brother's choice of partner. But going into your pot, ordering you around and then pushing you to the point of explosion is sincerely something that you and your husband must address with utmost importance without any further delay. 
You have to encourage your husband to move out and rent an apartment that is solely for you and your family, and avoid anything that may make you look as though you don't respect your in law or appreciate his personality. 
God didn't design a wife to serve two men and even if your husband has the freedom to open your pot, someone else doesn't and it doesn't mean that you hate the person, it's only how God have designed marriage to be, sacred and meant to bond husband and wife. 
Let him see reasons why you cannot continue living under the same roof with his brother. This doesn't in any way mean that he cannot reach out to him or help him or send financial assistance to him when necessary but so that you can have your privacy and freedom and avoid unnecessarily trying to impress a man whose thoughts and feelings you cannot tell. 
To start with, it's wasn't so awesome living with his brother and since he feels like disrespecting you and treating you without any form of courtesy, it's only noble to encourage your husband to move out. 
When he comes back, let him know the details of what happened and all that you said, let him know that you don't hate his brother or family but that you are choking with the manner and way he treats you especially when he's not around. 
Then allow him to access the development and then let you know what he feels is the best for him to do. That will inform you on what's best for you and your family. 
While you are with your in law, simply ignore everything he does, do not abuse him or exchange words with him, do good and let go. Forgive him and please do not bear grudges against him. 
It won't last forever so do not lose your emotions please. God will give you the wisdom and the patience to manage your home and help you overcome this phase of your marriage. 

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