Friday, March 4, 2016

How Else Do I Handle This?

Good evening ma! Please am your fan and I have learnt so many things about relationship from your advice to people and I pray mine won't be exceptional. I have been in a relationship for the past two years and we are working towards marriage. The problem I have with him is that he has no JOB. A job that he can boast of monthly salary no matter how little but let it be fixed. He sometimes join his uncle to work when he has work since the uncle is a contractor.
Both of us are graduates, I have tried my best to encourage him to look for a teaching job even if his salary will be #20k or there about. I see my guy as one who has a high taste, not the hustling type. I have even suggested so many jobs to him he turned it down. So I don't really know how else to handle this. Secondly, another challenge facing us now is that he finds it difficult to accept when he go wrong, he argues a lot, always claims right (Mr perfect ). He is very sensitive that he react to every little thing. The most annoying part is he still forces you to say sorry even when he is wrong.
Ma, am getting fed up with the whole thing. At times he will call, if am not around to answer my calls that will be another problem, at times I find it difficult to answer his calls cos am 80% sure that he will spoil my mood and to avoid that, I ignore some of his calls when am not in the mood. I have tried calling him so many times in a calm way to let him know how I feel about his attitudes towards me, he still claimed he was right and we ended up not settling our differences.
He even wanted to come for my introduction when he has no tangible thing he's doing. I don't know if it's the right thing, I have encouraged him, prayed always for him, I even do the calling at times since I have a little job that fetches me money monthly, he still does not appreciate it even to some extent of sending him recharge card when ask for.
I don't know how else to handle this. I have told him he can't just depend in white collar job because of the situation in the country , please ma advice me on what else to do because my love for him is no longer as it used to be. Thanks as I look forward to your advice.

Thank you for your sincerity and honesty in your mail. Indeed you are a rare lady who has a golden heart to help her partner become better and greater than you met him.
If he doesn't wish to get himself busy with anything or something no matter how little the income please he shouldn't come close to your gate.
Secondly if he hasn't left his uncle's house for an accommodation of his own even if it be one room without toilet, please do not for any reason take him serious.
Great both of you are in love and part of loving is taking responsibility and living a purposeful life. Everyone desires a white collar job but the wise don't wait for it but they engage themselves in a blue collar job or even semi skilled jobs while they work on getting a white collar job someday but not to sit down and then submit CV to companies that are retrenching their workforce.
When a man's pride makes him not to apologise when he makes a mistake or offends you, it's an indication that you will be dealing with two men in your relationship, him and his ego and most times it can be painful knowing that his ego will always hinder you from reaching out to him.
It's normal for you to feel discouraged and weak because of his attitude towards your efforts and sacrifices.
I will encourage you to tell him to write to me so that I can have a word or two with him.
Entrust everything in God's hands and allow him to guide you as you wait upon him for your husband.


  1. This use to be my story until I called it quits.was in this kind of relationship where the man was not ready to hustle but wait for a white collar job at 30 and still live with his parents. Proposed to me but didn't have transport fare to travel back to where he came from and I was like what sort of marriage would this be when he depends on the contribution of well meaning friends and relations to fund the wedding. He also never accepted being wrong. Whenever we talked on de phone it was either quarrels over who makes money and who doesn't have a job and who should call who. I've been there sis. I walked away from it and he was hurt and right now I can tell u I dnt regret it. For me it's good riddance. I want a man who is a man(takes responsibilities) not a male child who thinks the world owes him something.

  2. The only thing i perceived in my spirit mind is that this guy will be rich by any means(crooked or whatever)but will surely make you suffer if you eventually marry him.Pls.dear shut your heart against him.A good product will should not be messed up.Thanks.


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