Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I Feel Stressed, Unhappy and Depressed!

It's a lot and I don't know where to start from. As I type this, I have a terrible migraine. I don't know where to start from. I have known my husband for six years before marriage. Our marriage would be four years in October. It has been two weeks of fun and four month of different issues. He was once a military man but now a banker, six months into the union I wasn't working, I was a banker but wanted something else. Those six months were hell on earth, I prayed and looked for a job and I got one.
Since then all the expenses fell on me because he said the woman takes care of the feeding. That was issue number one. I guess I loved him too much and wanted to please him by all means so I swallowed everything he said that even didn't go well with me. He's a terrible cheat, one that brags about it and tells me to kill myself if it hurts.
I am abused verbally and emotionally and I still have to go on my knees to beg for peace to reign. We have a daughter of nineteen months. I am the wife, the maid and all sort of ill treatment. He's not compassionate all. Sex since the birth of our baby has been maybe four times. He wants all the attention, the back rub and everything but can't reciprocate. He's so bossy, am losing it completely, I will be 31 and am looking 40, so stressed and unhappy.
My christian life is shaking cos I get really depressed from all this trauma. I don't have a life. I cant even look good because all my money goes to running the home. The list is endless. He sends me to his parents house every weekend so that he will bring different girls home. I came home on 15th of February to see used condom. I couldn't ask for the fear of another problem. I feel very depressed but sincerely if he would change, I still love my husband. Help me my heart bleeds.

God who instituted a marriage union didn't encourage infidelity, emotional and verbal abuse and selfishness from any partner. 
So if you are no longer emotionally and psychologically stable in your marriage and you're already heading into depression, it's the best time to seek for a separation from the marriage. 
Separation is one of the most effective reconciliation process because it enables the partners to examine the marriage from the comfort of their privacy and analyse the challenges of the marriage and how they can be managed. It's also a time to decide whether both of you wish to be married or wish to go your separate ways. 
But it is entirely unacceptable for anyone to hide under religion or the opinions of the society and suffer from depression and emotional torture in the name of marriage. There is no need trying to endure what your heart cannot manage or what you are not emotionally prepared to accept for the rest of your life. 
Infidelity is evil and if your husband feels that he has the right to humiliate you in your home, please do not watch him destroy your life but seek for some break and go back to your family so that your family and his can intervene and decide on the future of your marriage. 
He's bossy and inconsiderate so he feels that he has the right to treat you like his slave perhaps because you gave him the impression that you can do anything for him which is why he has realised that you are nobody without him. 
I feel that you cannot continue this way without breaking down so I would suggest that you organise yourself and return back to your family while both of you renegotiate on the terms and conditions of your marriage and when he's not willing to quit infidelity and emotional and verbal abuse, you may need to reconsider your marriage with him.


  1. I completely agree with aunty Amaka. You are not his slave. I'm sorry that is no marriage. May God give you directions.

  2. It is ur fault. You should have discovered these characters or behaviours during ur courtship. In any case ur are married for better, for worse

  3. I will recommend that u watch the film war room. After that u can take your decision.

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  6. Pls go back to your family. Separation is a tool the Catholic Church preaches instead of divorce in cases like this. This will make you breath a new air of freedom. It will also give you ample chance to weigh the whole things and see if you would continue or not. I still advice in this process of separation, pls draw nearer to God so he can fight your battles without you raising a voice or finger against your husband. Sometimes love isn't enough for marriage to take place,one needs the Holy Spirit too.

  7. Recommended DOWNLOADS to get:

    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    *2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    *3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    *4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    *11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang

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