Sunday, March 6, 2016

Marriage Has Turned me to a Sadist!

Hello ma, happy Sunday I just got to know about your page recently. Thanks for the good work. Ma I just had my wedding two months ago though I moved in with my husband six months ago which was after our traditional wedding. We dated for four years before getting married, but since we got married our relationship has been hell, the marriage has gradually began to make me a sadist.
One week after I moved in I noticed my hubby keeps late nights, he closes from work at 4:30pm but comes home 10-11pm everyday even at weekends he is never at home. Life started becoming boring and lonely, then again his friends were the centre of our relationship that controlled every aspect of our life because even when he tried to spend one minute at home they will call and be like come here or lets go there, he cancels our appointments to be with his friends once they call him even if it's a doctor's appointment. I guess maybe even if his roof was on fire.
Then I noticed he was cheating on me, when I confronted him he made it sound casual and even lied about it. He went about telling the girls he's single, one of the girls met me in the salon on one occasion and saw my wedding picture on my phone and was shocked he was married, then she told me they've been dating for over six months then she called him on phone in my presence and asked him "so you were married and you've been lying to me? And he immediately asked "who told you I was married?
Ma, now things have gone so bad that we hardly have sex, he makes up excuses like he is tired, not in the mood and even when he forcibly want to do it his dick doesn't get erect or goes down half way. Each time I confront him he will say am nagging, the last time I tried to talk about sex with him on chat he told me his dick doesn't get erect because am not romantic and attractive. Then I asked him the things he wanted because I knew I tried to foreplay before sex, I suck his dick and nipples.
Am so tired of this six month old marriage, I've been praying but nothing has changed. Am 24 years and yet to have a baby because he is not even ready to have sex with me let alone get me pregnant.
I feel really pained when I see pregnant women. Also he threatened make my life miserable each time we have a quarrel, my love for him has grown very cold because of his attitude.

While some of his attitude are part of getting naked to one another and adapting to the realities of your personality differences, his attitude towards you seemed as though he was forced into marriage to you. 
He doesn't even respect his matrimonial vows nor does he have any form of respect and courtesy for you in the marriage.
He doesn't seem to be excited and happy with getting married to you and I don't necessarily understand what or who pushed him to getting married to you. 
The foundation of your marriage is a bit faulty and that's why everything is telling on you within six months. He lies about his marital status, finds it unattractive and boring to have sex with you and at the same time threatens to make your life miserable. 
I will suggest that you encourage him to write to me, let me understand what exactly the problem could be and why he's acting like he was forced at gun point to marry you. 
I can understand keeping late nights, keeping unnecessary friends and perhaps acting as though he's still single because they are the attributes of his single days and it will take some time for him to adjust but I'm still trying to understand why he's so comfortable with lying about his marital status and the sudden complaints that you aren't romantic or attractive.
From your description of your sexual intimacy, it's obvious that his mind is disconnected from your body and he's doing that just to satisfy your needs and not because he's in love with you. 
There is something he's not saying and I feel that you may struggle in this journey if that obstacle is not addressed and attended to and this is why it's critical and pertinent that he writes me so that we can discuss further. 
Though it's the desire of every woman who's married to carry her own baby, the greatest need of every woman is to enjoy her marriage and build a home where everyone is happy and fulfilled in the marriage, so I feel that once you have addressed some of the challenges in your marriage, you will have your own bundle of joy. 
Please be patient and hopeful, commit everything to God in prayers because he's the only one who can win him back to your home so that both of you can enjoy the marriage of your youth. 


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  2. Hmmmmm so sad indeed, so even four years is not enough time to know ones partner. And when people see you smiling out side, they feel you are happy and wish they were you. What an irony. Please use these key words P.U.S.H pray until something happens.


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