Thursday, March 24, 2016

Married a Lazy and Dirty Pastor!

Aunty Amara, I want to thank you for the way you have been advising us on relationships. I am an expectant mother with a son, I got married in December 2013 to a pastor, we didn't really date for up to six months cos he said he wanted marriage not relationship.
Ever since we got married I have been the person practically running the home financially, even when I was pregnant with my first baby, it was my twin that footed the bills from registration to delivery (Cesarean Section), my husband could not even say thank you.
I got a job with Federal Ministry of *** on November 2015 through his uncle, he now said he must be the one to hold the ATM to my salary account which I objected to. Since January this year I have been in Ogun state where am working alone, the problem now is that before any little misunderstanding he would call me an harlot and insult my family, last week he said the marriage was over that when it's time he would come for his children and I replied okay, but my family is saying I should just go back because I have a son for him and endure all his laziness and dirty character that does not portray a pastor's own, that am too young to be a divorcee, am just 26 years old, I don't know what to do please advice me.

All I could read from your mail was that you are not happy that he doesn't provide for the family and he's also lazy and dirty. I understand that, but was that why you now want to run back home and then divorce him?
You may say that he's lazy but a man who did his best to ensure that you got a job with a federal ministry has a good intentions for you and his family irrespective of his "laziness".
And though something must have provoked him to have said all those horrible words to you, I would suggest that you encourage him to write to me here so that I can have a heart to heart discussion with him and hopefully figure out what went wrong and how best to resolve this so that both of you can enjoy your marriage.
I am restrained from making comments on his financial capacity and his capacity to take the responsibility for his family because there are some vital information about his ministry which I cannot ascertain from your mail to enable me understand why he's unable to provide for the family.
Please do not hesitate to talk to him and encourage him to write to me here. I will suggest that you take this privilege to pray for your marriage and your husband in particular. No matter the weaknesses of your husband, God has prepared you to help him, to support him, to strengthen him and to intercede on his behalf. He's first a man before he became a man of God so refrain from judging his position and address him as your husband and your companion.
Learn how to manage his excesses and how to help him become a better man, a happy man and a man that the world will celebrate. So many men of God and men of valour were made by the sacrifices and investment of their wives in their lives. Nobody else knows what the wife has endured, sacrificed and how much she prayed for her husband to succeed and excel in his ministry but what the world celebrates is the man of God but only few understands that the powerhouse of his personality and excellence in his ministry has been his wife.
As his wife, you have been called to a sacred journey with your husband and how successful and otherwise he will be depends greatly on how you help him in his weaknesses and in your marriage.
I look forward to receiving your feedback and his mail too. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. You are fulfilling purpose Amara, I am certain of this! No better advice could have been given. God bless you.


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