Sunday, March 13, 2016

My Parents are Against the Relationship!

Good day ma. Please, I need your advice and help. I am 25 years old, currently serving. I am in a relationship with a man who wants to marry me, he has been married before but he lost his wife when she was giving birth. He will turn 38 years by June. We love each other very well, to the extent that there is nothing he cannot do for me. He is very caring, loving, and spends a lot on me. I will be proudly tell you that he is the only man behind my happiness.
But, I have a problem. My parents and siblings are against the marriage because he has married before. They will always tell me that if they left me, I would go and marry a man that lost his wife? They told me to stop picking the guy's call and cut off the relationship. But I can't do that because the man in question has never for once treated me bad, instead he encouraged me and planned how my future will be bright. He is like a God sent to me to wipe away all my past relationships, but instead of my parents to encourage and support me, they use because he had been married to talk against him.
As I am writing this to you, I am very confused, crying because I don't know how to convince my parents. I really need your advice because it will help me to tackle this problem. This man only wanted the good for me, how I will succeed in life, and his main concern is on my future. I cannot afford to lose him, because he is my happiness. Thanks, for your understanding. I am looking forward to seeing your candid advice. Have a great day....


Death is inevitable and it will be unfair to judge this man for what he may not have wished for while getting married to his late wife.
Your parents on their own side maybe weighing the spiritual undertone of such an even and may not be comfortable to allow you to marry a man who lost his wife to child delivery. Some individuals and culture see that as a taboo and wouldn't want to have anything to associate with such a family.
This is the angle you may not have thought of. There are also some men who use their wives as rituals and they die in such a manner that leaves many asking questions(now I don't wish to scare you but I'm digging into the mind of your parents).
So what do you do, make your investigations into the family and the life of your partner. I'm happy that he's a good man, find out about his personal relationship with God, find out about his family and his parents and do not just cross examine your partner but go to his village and family and make enquiries from people in his community so that when you are talking with your parents, you have your facts to help them understand his personality and vision.
If they do not yield or approve your relationship with him, then you may consider or consult a man or elder who you are very much convinced that your parents will listen to and also include your pastor (emotionally and spiritually mature Christian) to help explain to your parents and encourage them to bless your marriage.
I'm glad that you have started with prayers and I'm hopeful that God will reveal his purpose to you and your parents and give you the man he has prepared for your journey and happiness in life.

4 comments:

  1. Wow! Ur Answer to her questions is so so explanatory... God bless u Ma For making woman not to go astray in life. @ Poster dis is really a candid advice

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! Ur Answer to her questions is so so explanatory... God bless u Ma For making woman not to go astray in life. @ Poster dis is really a candid advice

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello poster
    Aunty AVL has said it all. Its very dicey to go into a relationship with a widow/widower without carrying out some investigations. So apply a lot of patience and prayers especially with your parents. We only know about now. We dont know what the future holds for us. So please be wise and the Almighty God will see you through. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello poster
    Aunty AVL has said it all. Its very dicey to go into a relationship with a widow/widower without carrying out some investigations. So apply a lot of patience and prayers especially with your parents. We only know about now. We dont know what the future holds for us. So please be wise and the Almighty God will see you through. Take care.

    ReplyDelete

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