Friday, March 18, 2016

Should I Allow Him to Visit Me?

Greetings to you ma, you're really a blessing to humanity. I mean the way and manner you tackle and resolve problems in people's relationship. And God will surely bless you for that. Ma'am, am 28 years old, working with one of the telecom company, though not yet a graduate. Am having problem being in a stable relationship cos any guy I try to date starts demanding sex from me in the sense that everything must be involved in the relationship which I vehemently said NO because it's morally wrong.
Secondly, using sex to cement a relationship, we might regret that later. Late last year, a guy who claimed that he loved me nearly raped me just because I allowed him to visit me , of which if not that I struggled and ran out of my room, he would have achieved his lustful aim. So I vowed never to allow a male visitor in my room. But there is this guy age 31 years that is asking me to marry him. I told him that he should not rush lets take it easy so as to learn each other. But he started complaining how can we achieve that without visiting each other constantly? He invited me to their family house but I refused to go cos am afraid he might take advantage of me. But he has been pleading that I should allow him visit me that he can't discuss marriage issue outside. Please ma, I really need your advice to avoid a regret later.
Should I invite him to my house? Note :Am living alone.

Marriage can be discussed anywhere but your room and both of you will achieve your vision and goals for the relationship. Both of you can visit each other outside your room and his room and there's nothing absolutely wrong with that. It has nothing to do with you not wishing to take the relationship to the next level but you must be very careful and cautious because a man's penis doesn't understand gentleness and gentleman's agreement so let's not give him so much than he can handle.
Let your goal for now be to understand his personality, his purpose and vision in life and for the relationship. There's no need to rush the relationship because there's so much more that you must learn about him to help you decide whether he's the one that you need in life.
It's great to know that he wishes to marry you,(let's assume that he's not looking for sex and confessing marriage) let's put a foundation by getting to understand his personality and what exactly attracted him to you so that you can decide whether to continue with him or move on with your life.
Though you didn't specify how long you have known him but personally I won't encourage you to open your door to a stranger who came in the name of love because his confessions and convictions maybe as parallel as the north is to south.

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